Sexperience

Oh My Goodness! i cannot believe the womens comments. porn is normal!!! my boyfriend and i watch porn together and het great pleasure from it. whats the probelm? its so natural. get a life! and grow up! so ladies? what would you do if your men told you they dont want you masterbating? Oh wait, dont tell me! You all dont do It!!!”

SO i got off of work early, and i come home and my boyfriend was not expecting me to come home either, well he acted like i didnt see anything when he hurried to pull up his pants and exit out of the porn site he was on. Then he was like i did't hear you at the door, mind you our front door is hard to unlock. then he wanted to get mad and take another situation and turn it around like it was my fault. why CANT MEN JUST COME OUT AND TELL THE TRUTH!!!! Its not like i would be mad”

My boyfriend has watched porn in the past, but when I met him I told him I didn't agree with guys watching porn if their in a relationship because it's not fair on the partner, because basically he's getting off on another woman! I hate it! When we got together, I said to him that if he wanted to be with me, I would want him to stop watching porn and he did. Instead I said that I'd pleasure him in any way he'd like, in other words, I'd be his 'pornstar' so he wouldn't need the internet. Our sex life is great! Another thing that does really affect him if I ever think he might be watching porn is say: 'If I ever find out, and you know I don't like it, I'll become a porn star myself so other guys can see me..' Then he gets angry and would never want to watch it just to have me :)”

I just found out the other day that my boyfriend watches porn. We've been dating 2 1/2 yrs and have been living together for 10 months. I knew he used to watch porn before we were dating and he always talked about it in the past tense. In recent months, we've seemed to have drifted apart and our sex life dwindled. We've both blamed this on stress and working many hours. In a sad way, we've been too tired for sex. Then I logged on to the computer the other night and he had forgotten to clear the search history in the computer. I was shocked. Upset. I went to him about it. He told me it has nothing to do with me and that he'd stop. I just wish he had been honest about it in the first place. It has affected our relationship...I'm still trying to figure out how I feel about it. Logically, I know it doesn't really have anything to do with me, but at the same time I kind of feel betrayed. And I wonder if that's why he's been distant lately. He tells me that's not why..that its just stress about other things. I'm confused about how I feel. I haven't brought it up since and I think he probably assumes I've forgotten about it, but I haven't. He's always been honest that he masturbates and that's fine. I just don't know if I'm comfortable with other women turning him on. And I'm too embarassed to talk to any of my friends about it. I might be open to watching it -- not just naked girls though -- but I never really thought of it before. I think that mostly I'm just hurt that he deliberately never told me until I found it on the computer and then at first, he tried to deny it. I thought our relationship was really based on honesty. Maybe I'm naive. And I'm also really upset that maybe our relationship is in worse shape than I thought if he's looking at porn and lying about it. Really, I have so many emotions about it that I'm not sure how I feel. I really appreciate all the feedback on this site..its helping me really think about how I feel.”

My boyfriend used to, and it used to upset me as well. When I spoke to him he said he would give it up because he would rather have me than porn, he goes away a lot for weeks at a time and I know he watches it then, but if I'm honest i would prefer him to watch porn and have a wank, than to cheat on me with another girl maybe. You should definitely talk to him.”

Wel my boyfriend doez it in front of me. Dont care how i feel he knows it upsets me. I wouldnt mind bt he would rarther watch that than me pleasure him cause itz that time of the month .”

I absolutely hate my boyfriend watching porn, I think it is degrading to women and he rarely has sex with me, or shows me attention in but without fail masturbates everyday in secret. I feel like he has chosen porn over me and refuses to even discuss the possibility of him not watching it, he says I am ridiculous for bringing it up. If it were not for the fact he used to talk to other women inappropriately in our relationship, and neglected me so much then I'm pretty sure I'd have got over the fact he is so persistant by now. What depresses me is that I can't find anything to say to him once he says 'everyone does it, I'm not going to stop'. I feel like he is looking at other women INSTEAD of me, just like when he spoke to the other girls. He says its completely different. I understand that it doesn't mean he loves me any less, but I'm pretty sure I'm not 'completely stupid' when I think he is being unfair. I wish the consensus amongst men wasn't that it is their absolute right to watch porn (which is degrading, unhealthy to a sexual appetite, addictive and offensive to their girlfriend). It isn't like I'm not adventurous, or that I couldn't get another boyfriend. He knows I don't want to be with anyone else, and neither does he but I constantly feel like he needs something on the side. Most people would deem that unacceptable, right?
I am constantly sexually frustrated, he is not, my conclusion: he is annoying and selfish.”

Porn can become a very damaging addiction to have to deal with in a relationship... I had a boyfriend who watched porn everyday and after a while he started to expect me to look and behave like the girls in the videos, which was very upsetting...”

I recently discovered my boyfriend sometimes looks at porn... It makes me feel sick whenever I think about it. I hate porn for ethical reasons... And because of course I hate the fact that he's getting turned on by other women. I don't know if it's normal or not, but it certainly makes me feel awful... It's degrading for everyone - including the men who look at it.”

It is common but completey okay if you're not happy with it for ethical reasons. I've done a research paper and the truth behind porn is horrific. Many women inporn have been or are treated abusively and the majority is about degrading women. I hate when men say it is only a fantasy when it isnt for the women performing it (many suffer from these experiences and have done in the past). By the way most guys who call you insecure would actually get very jealous if it was the other way around. If you are uncomfortable talk to him, if he cant understand maybe find someone else who does”

i would say this is normal for him, i mean i know my boyfriend watches porn, nowhere near as much as he did before he was with me, but it doesnt bother me as i watch it too, sometimes we watch it together, even sometimes ill be sat watching porn and he'll be on the xbox!! please don't take his porn addiction as a sign of him not loving you, i know my boyfriend loves me 2 pieces and i love him immensely, it's just something for him to enjoy when your not there to do it for him. i dont think theres any need to worry!”

A guy watching porn whilst in a relationship is very normal. It is addiction but at the same time it is also a mixture of maybe everyday life or just trying to release his needs.

I can tell you, porn does NOT affect how much a guy loves his partner.

If you feel uncomfortable then just tell him that you don't want him to let you know that he is watching it and that you don't want to see any signs of it happening.

I am in a month long relationship so far, i love her more than anythng in this world but i still use porn if it helps me settle any desires that i have. It may be a case where your boyfriends sexual desires are far larger than yours and it is his way of helping it. ”

Is it normal for him to masturbate while in a relationship? Yes, absolutely, but you shouldn’t have to accept the fact that he uses porn as part of his masturbation. He is getting off on other women. Not fantasies, real women, who are being paid to have sex for his pleasure.

Some couples enjoy watching porn together, which is fine, but for some women, the fact that their partner watches porn feels like cheating, and that’s fine too. Don’t let people convince you that all men do this, and you just need to accept it, because they don’t, and you don’t. Explain how the fact that he watches porn makes you feel, and if he loves you, he shouldn’t want to continue to hurt you.”

You should talk to him about it, see why he feels he needs it and you. Guys dont seem to get that many girls arent comfortable with it because it makes us feel useless or uncomfortable.
May be try watching it with him (if your open minded.)
If its really a problem you'll have to make him choose you or porn.”

Why don't you try and watch it with him, try masturbating yourself or doing it for him and get him to do it for you. My boyfriend and I watch porn all the time. I don't know about anybody else but it kinda spiced up our sex life! Good luck x x”

I find it really hard to deal with also.
I've felt the same in both of my relationships and it seems that alot of people think it's fine, and also alot think it's unacceptable.

I personally find it makes me feel insecure about how my body looks (because pornstars are always 'perfect') and I feel like it's another option for if i'm not there to help out with sexual tension.

My boyfriend used to masterbate more than 3 times a day and for him it was a habit.
And like with everything a habit is formed from doing something often and habits are breakable, you just have to have somebody willing to break it.

I feel very strongly about my boyfriend watching porn and have been known to get very upset about it.
So he promised to stop looking at it but there is still loads of porn saved to his computer so I'm not sure if I believe him but that's down to my trust issues.

”

i personaly think it is normal...and also makes sex more fun it helps u express your sexual fantasies...”

I know everyone is saying it isn't normal. but tbh most boys do watch porn most days, and masturbate over it. i have been going oout with a boy for 8 months and he does it, but i'm fine with it. But if your not you should speak to him, but he will probally just answer its normal and most boys do it. boys watching porn and masturbating is like girls going shopping and talking. =]”

What people don't realise is that porn helps people express sexual fantasies that they wouldn't want to or would be unacceptable to carry out in real life.

Being with a girl and masturbating are two totally different experiences which one likes to enjoy at separate times.

When I am in a relationship my porn use generally goes down but is still there.

Get over it.”

It shouldn't be normal and certainly isn't fair. If he was masturbating over a girl he knew it would be perceived as cheating so why should it be different because it's porn?
You should talk to your boyfriend about it and tell him how it makes you feel.”

IT ISN'T NORMAL. I once had a boyfriend who did the same thing, and I felt really disregarded, it was as if he was choosing porn over me. Then again, if your sexual appetite isn't matching his, then he may feel he has to resort to porn. Just let him know that you're open to sex (if you are) and see if his porn fetish subsides. If not, then bin him, that's what I did!”

why would this bother you? Your being insecure. If you wern't satisfiing him he wouldnt be with you. Is normal to masturbate!!”

God, you lot should be ashamed. If you're really living in a fantasy world where "it's only porn", you don't deserve to have a girlfriend that obviously cares about what you're doing. You're making her upset, because she knows. Get a grip - and no, not in that way.”

I’d like to say boys will be boys but I’m guilty of this particular sin too if I’m honest..if however my partner told me it was bothering me I would be prepared to stop if I was serious about the relationship. The risk you run by talking to him about it though is that he wont be mature enough to accept it bothering you and you may loose him - you have to ask yourself if it would bother you to loose someone who is that immature?”

This is not normal behaviour!! I had a boyfriend who loved porn when I was about 18... at first it didn't bother me but as time went on I went off him and the sex. It affected my self esteem and our relationship. What is wrong with men that they need this fix? Is it greed or addiction? How about getting a life and seeing what the world has to offer outside of the bedroom??”

if you feel you have quite an open relationship try get him to talk to you on the fone whilst hes doin it, you might find it easier to deal with cuz you will be a part of it. ”

Definitely not uncommon babe as many people do worry about their boyfriends activity regarding porn and masturbation. The only reason he decides to excite himself is because he isn't sleeping with you constantly and he cant exactly randomly masturbate next to you ! Although saying that, he should still be VERY sensitive to your feelings as a woman yourself and even more as his girlfriend so sit down, talk to him about it and find out what he wants x”

Ive been with my partner for over 8 years and i still watch and masturbate alll it meens is you both have different sex drives she is about twice a week and me i want it 3 or 4 times a day its just the way things are in life”

dont worry, he probably only does it as it is part of his routine of sexual pleasure. this doesnt mean your not giving him enough sexual pleasure, just that this is what he is used to. some men even say it can become addictive. if it becomes really hurtful and gets you down alot- talk to him! if he cares for you he will talk to you and cut it down or stop it all together.”

My boyfriend does this too. I was originally worried about it and felt he didn't think that I was sexy enough and felt that I couldn't satisfy him. But I told him about it, he didn't freak but we ended up talking about it, about what he watches and thinks about. It's really helped us, I get to share his experience and still feel wanted.”

I think ultimately, men have a higher sex drive than women. I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years and I actually give him the option to watch porn. It doesn't bother me as I'm the one he's in love with. I think it's absolutely normal for men to masturbate whilst in a relationship, I'd much prefer him to do it looking at porn than cheating on me with a real woman, wouldn't you? And to be honest, I sometimes masturbate myself whilst looking at porn but I don't tell my boyfriend. It's normal for all people in relationships to have some 'me time'”

I promise you, it really isn't a big deal for boys! I used to feel exactly like you, but I've come to realise that he still loves you! Boys masturbate because it's basicly just a lazy way to ''realease'' there load! Theres alot of preparing before they have sex with a girl, they have to make sure they smell good, there hair looks good, there skin e.t.c and it's alot of pressure to keep the girl horny too! Watching porn just quickens the process! That's all!”

My ex-boyfriend used to do this however i did not think it was with porn. I think it is normal; sometimes a way boys can cope with things. However if it does make you upset then talk to him about it.”

watch it with him you might enjoy it to”

it might only be porn but fink how women feel.”

Yes of course it is normal.Its not because he doesnt love you or isnt comfortable with your body its because he cant always see you and its not as if hes actually going to have sex with them.”

I have a much higher sex drive than my wife, I masturbate to porn most nites. Now I dont think that she is actually aware of this, but it is entirely normal”

All boys do it, but whenever i've been in a relationship like that - its always made me feel like a wouldnt be up to his expectations. So, my advice is to talk to him about it, maybe hes just overly horney?”

dont worry to much it is part of natural life but if you still dont like it then talk to him beause im sure he will understand your feelings and im sure he cares about you”

If he's avoiding having sex with you cos he'd rather jerk off to porn, then yeah, it could be a problem and you should talk to him about it. But perhaps it might be worthwhile for you two to watch porn together.”

if you don't like it you must tell him so. You have to be strong in a relationship and ask him why he has to do it. The programmes this week would teach him a thing or 2!! Otherwise leave him, there are plenty more nicer guys out there.”

i dont see what the problem is i dont mind my boyfriend watching porn i think its normal and would actually find it weird if he didnt”

My boyfriend used to watch porn almost everyday and it made me quite uncomfortable. It makes girls uncomfortableto know that their bloke is looking at other women naked and i often wondered if he didnt find me sexy enough. After talking to him he agreed not to watch porn and was very understanding, if he isnt understanding then he's not worth being with. Guys just imagin if your girlfriend was checkin out naked guys all the time”

i hate it too!! i cant stand the thought of my boyfriend watching porn because its like, do i not satisfy you enough? i want tobe the only one he sees naked, i know it sounds harsh but it hurts to know that my boyfriend would rather watch someone else have sex than have it with me”

my boyfriend used to watch porn all the time and it upset me, so I told him to stop and he did. because he didnt have porn he relied on me a lot and when I wasn't in the mood or ill it was really frustrating and in the end I told him to go watch porn.

it's better now”

I really dont think its anything to worry about. My boyfriend seemed a bit worried to tell me he watched porn when I asked but I told him that i dont mind whatsoever. You have to realise that a man masturbates for the same reason a woman does, for pleasure. But men mostly do it whilst watching porn because it means that they dont have to use there imagination lol. All I can suggest is you discuss porn with your boyfriend and if your confortable enough ask to see what kind of porn he watches, it may make you feel more secure with your relationship because its not at all secretive.
But always remember that porn is just a physical thing, no one but you can give your boyfriend a hug.”

Maybe they feel like you masturbating to pictures of other naked women is something you should give up for them. No matter how trivial it is in your opinion, that's ultimately what it is and to some, this will appear unfair. Girls can feel uncomfortable having sex with someone who has just been watching porn because they don't want a comparison to be drawn/ you to be thinking about that and not them.”

I do exactly the same, well, not every day. I love my girlfriend very much, we've been together over 2 and a half years now and still have great sex.
I purely see masturbating over porn as a self-indulgent "release", in a way allowing myself to some sexual freedom without being unfaithful. This in fact enhances our sexual relationship since it means i'm never wishing i was with someone else.
However, my girlfriend too finds it difficult, since she sees it as a replacement, or highlights her sexual shortcomings. We rarely if ever talk about it and it's something we need to discuss, but if your boyfriend is anything like me, it's nothing to worry about.
Hope this helped”

If it makes you really uncomfortable or insecure, talk to him about it, I'm sure he wouldn't still be horny knowing he was upsetting you.
My boyfriend is normally horny everyday, and if you don't feel like it or you are ill or something, they can get frustrated but sex isn't the be-all-end-all.
He should understand your feelings.”

every girl iv ever been with has been the same i dont get it its only porn”

iv been with a girl for 2 years and i do the same”

The way I see it, it's completely normal, and pretty much one of the repercussions of living in today's internet dominated society. My boyfriend does it regularly too, but it doesn't bother me, and you shouldn't let it either. It becomes irrevelant if your relationship is strong & happy anyway, it's just one of those things that he does or likes, that you don't understand about him. Can guarantee, if it really came down to it, he would much rather choose the real, human flesh of you than some pixellated, plastic, fake "woman"!With porn, it's really just the element of fantasy for boys, they like to think that some porn star would fancy plain, ordinary them, even though they know this would never happen. If it helps, just boil it down to simple "image" terms: he's looking at pictures of things that he likes (the fact this makes him aroused is purely biological), and you don't understand why he likes them, because you don't like them. It's the same as you looking and fantasising at pictures of hot shoes or whatever! boys definitely don't understand that! and in the same vein, i'm sure you wouldn't slam your laptop shut (or even fantasise a teeny weeny bit) if you came across some hot naked picture of jonny depp, or similar !
let me know how you go on with this”

This could well be due to a high sex drive and not wanting to constantly pester you for sex. I personally have a very high sex drive and if I'm not having sex on a given day I will have a wank. I wouldn't worry about it too much . Just ask him why.”

I'm in a two year long relationship and it's me that watches porn and masturbates. I have a wonderful sex life with my partner but there are times he enjoys just cuddling up with me and watching tv. He understands that I get frustrated and would rather I realeased it so we can have a nice evening together than cause and argument over sex. it could be that he would rather vent his frustration watching porn so he can have a good time when he's with you without sex being the only thing on his mind.”

my boyfriend does this too, it used to make me feel like he didnt finnd me attractive, but he says its purely down to sometimes being too lazy to have sex, or just as a release if hes stressed. i dont like it, but i love him and i expect there are things about me he doesnt like either.”

It's not possible to say whether watching porn every day is "normal" or "abnormal" because this answer would be dependent on a person's individual tastes and values. However, where it does become a problem is if it's interfering with his life (such as if he is spending more time watching porn than interacting with friends or family, or if he is developing unrealistic expectations about sexuality as a result), or if it is interfering with your relationship with each other. It seems like it bothers you. You should express this to him in a non-judgemental way while still asserting your feelings about his porn habit. See how he responds. If he is insensitive to your feelings and needs, it may be time to re-consider if this is the kind of relationship you want to be in right now.”

my boyfriend also did, i didn't really like it, so i told him how i felt about it and he didn't realise. things seem to be okay now.. :)”

its normal for all guys to want to watch porn, masturbation is normal, and perfectly healthy, and porn is just a "sexual stimulant", however, if your unhappy about the situation, try talking to him about it, and just tell him your not so happy about him watching porn whilst being with you, but to be honest, i wouldnt worry to much, it is 100 % normal .”

It is normal.

In general, males just associate porn with sexual relief. He doesn't get the same thing from porn that he gets from you.

Also, his sex drive probably makes him want to ejaculate daily. If he doesn't see you daily then it's fairly normal that he'll masturbate. If you don't have a sexual relationship, then it's even more normal. I suppose you could argue that he should think of you, not watch porn, but men tend to be more visual.

Another thing is that lots of males watch porn from an early age, and it is a part of their life. It's more difficult than you'd think to just give it up.

If you have trouble accepting it, you should discuss your feelings with him.”

Not all boys are necessarily like this, but it's not abnormal for a boy to. If you find it hard to deal with, you should talk to him about it otherwise nothing is going to change. Communication is an important factor in a relationship, so just be honest.”

It's a bit cheeky! I don't think it's unreasonable to be bothered by it- I would be! Have you spoken to him about it? Does he know how you feel? If you've told him it's upsetting you but he's just carrying on then the issue isn't so much the porn as his attitude to your feelings. Any boy worth having would stop doing something that they know makes you so uncomfortable. Talk to him, but if he won't budge, please don't be unhappy! You deserve better.”

If you don't like him doing that, then you should talk about it with him. I know some people who are OK with this sort of thing and some who arn't so there's no real right or wrong answer. If he still carries on doing it all the time and you're still not happy with it then maybe you two aint right for each other :(”

This might sound strange but men tend to masturbate more whilst in a relationship. Its totally normal. If they start thinking about sex with their partner it normally leads to them masturbating. Don't worry about it.”

it is okay for you to be uncomfortable with porn (much of it is harming and degrading women) and you should discuss it with him. if you feel strongly then maybe you should find a guy with the same views as you as they are out there!”

most men watch porn whether or not they are in a relationship. Its normal for them it doesnt mean they dont care about you its just fantasy. Though this does seem a bit excessive. The best thing to do is to talk to him in a nice way and explain how you feel about it. Tell him you find it hard to deal with. Hopefully he will be able to put your mind at ease and maybe he will cut it down.”

Very normal. My boyfriend does it too. I figure that he's never going to meet these people and he generally imagines myself and him doing the things on screen rather than the actors. Try not to feel jealous... it's only on a computer screen. If you're concerned try watching it with him... if you try to find it sexy too then you can sympathise with his needs.”

mine is exactly the same, i dont know what to do with him. he used to masturbate 4 times a day but now we have sex he doesnt, but he masturbates every day i dont see him and because of this he sometimes goes floppy during sex which makes me feel like im doing something wrong. hes trying to do it every other day and maybe cut it out all together. he also watches porn all the time which is what bothers me the most. it makes me worry that he will compare me to the girls on the video and think im not as good as them. anyway, maybe you should talk to him about it and suggest that he tries it without the porn. he will then find it harder to cum and wont feel the need to do it so often. it is an addiction unfortunately.”