“The look on my mums face, she was very distraught and kind of just ignored it and walked away.”
WARNING: This site features very frank and occasionally explicit accounts of personal experiences of sex — parental guidance is recommended
This video mentions bisexual, coming out, and sexuality
In a way it’s harder to come out as bisexual because it’s less understood and because people immediately think 'Oh actually he’s gay, he's just denying it'. ”
“The look on my mums face, she was very distraught and kind of just ignored it and walked away.”
“By that time I was certainly aware that I was homosexual and determined that it wasn’t going to be somebody else’s problem, I was keeping it all to myself and all under wraps.”
“I phoned everyone that I knew that was of any importance to me, all on the same day. And there were a few people that I had very odd reactions from.”
Share your experience or leave a comment
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Posted by ebiaxa on 23rd Oct at 4:37PM (flag as inappropriate)
I started noticing girls when I was about 12. I never told anyone how I felt because I constantly thought that I would get teased by my friends and other kids for it. I am bisexual and it's only been about 18 months since I've become confident enough to tell people. The first person I told was my ex boyfriend, and it did take me a while to get myself to say it. He was supportive, and I am so glad he was the first person I told because he was so trusting. I think as time went by, I realised who I could trust and only told another 3 people. I felt at ease at the fact that they were supportive. After that, I told my main group of friends. Most of them didn't really say much and were fine with it. Some on the other hand would make comments between each other, in front of people and in front of me. I became more insecure with people. I didn't trust very easily. I did try not to let them get to me, and I felt like I had drifted from them slightly. I felt comfortable enough to explore my sexuality, and not listen to what they had to say. I have had experiences with girls, but there were a lot of mistakes, and I have lost two very close friends. I feel like that was because they never really accepted me for my sexuality. I have moved on and have been in a relationship for 6 months with a boy. He knows that I am bisexual and he is probably one of the only people I do trust completely. I have had people say "you know, it's just a phase." They can't say that unless they really do feel how I feel. I know this isn't a "phase". I've felt like this for over 6 years. I do have more confidence now and to be honest, people can say what they want to me. I'm not going to let anyone try and put me down because of my sexuality.”
Posted by Hollie on 9th Oct at 1:30AM (flag as inappropriate)
Hey Ollie, sorry it turned out bad, I know that I don't know your friend but if he cannot accept you then do you really want him. I hope that you find a friend u can rely on and yh i hope it goes better with me 2.”
Posted by Adam on 24th Aug at 7:28PM (flag as inappropriate)
Thanks Adam. I asked him about how he felt about what I am and it hasnt turned out good. He isnt fine with it all whatsoever. Im so upset but ohwell. Hope everything goes better with you Adam. Ollie x”
Posted by Ollie on 23rd Aug at 12:26AM (flag as inappropriate)
Hey Ollie I think that maybe you should ask him if he is confused about his sexuality but maybe try to do it discreetly if he is then u could sugest maybe hugging or kissing him or something, that way if u both feel something you will know. That way you can see how strong your feelings are. Im in the same kind of situation as you and if the person i liked was doing what your friend is then I would ask him.I don't know if that will work but it's a suggestion. Hope it helps.”
Posted by Adam on 8th Aug at 4:26PM (flag as inappropriate)
Hey Ollie I think that maybe you should ask him if he is confused about his sexuality but maybe try to do it discreetly if he is then u could sugest maybe hugging or kissing him or something, that way if u both feel something you will know. That way you can see how strong your feelings are. Im in the same kind of situation as you and if the person i liked was doing what your friend is then I would ask him.I don't know if that will work but it's a suggestion. Hope it helps.”
Posted by Adam on 8th Aug at 3:21PM (flag as inappropriate)
Hi I am 14going on 15 and I am in year 10 at school going into year 11 and I am gay or bi I don't no with 1 I think about it most of the time I have told 3of my mates one of them is bi (guy) I did kinds like him but I don't realy no the other to I told are straigh (boy) (girl) all of them don't mind it they were so glad I trusted them. I realy want to tell my parents and sister that I am gay or bi but I don't no how they would take it and I don't no how I would tell them I am getting so upset that I don't no how to tell them. I have always been called gay at school and I was thinking if I told them that I am they might stop it but I don't no I need some help. I have been atracted to many boys but not so many girls so I no I am gay but I am not sure about girls can somebody please help me
Thank you Sam XxXxXxX”
Posted by Sam on 5th Jul at 1:12AM (flag as inappropriate)
Hi. Its Ollie again. I told one of my best friends the other day. I still can't decide whether it was a good decision or not? He has said he is OK with it and is trying (the best he can to be supportive I think). But I don't think he is to be honest. I am so confused.
The worst bit is, I don't have many close guy friend at all, but I am really worried that now I may have lost one? I am really starting to worry. Only time will tell.
The last thing is, te guy I told I think he might be bisexual. My reason is he is sort of getting close with guys in class and stuff. And when I sit next to him in class he really oftenly brushing up against me and he still does it now he knows. Do you think he is or am I just wanting him to be because I like him?
Thank you. Ollie.”
Posted by Ollie on 26th Jun at 8:44PM (flag as inappropriate)
I'm 17 but I knew I was bisexual from a very young age. I had lots of crushes on guys but was always more comfortable with girls and it wasn't until i was about 12 that I started to be curious about my sexuality.
At the time I didn't know who to talk to or what to do, I kept anything I was feeling to myself and I got really depressed. But to be honest I did have a really good friend who I ended up confiding it who ironically was going through the same thing. However I had grown up in a Hhmophobic background and didn't want to be bisexual.
After a while my curiosity wasn't going away and I found myself increasingly attracted to girls. Soon afterwards, I had formed a new group of friend, one of which was bisexual and I knew they would accept me, however even then I didn't come out.
I knew that i had to be comfortable within myself and my sexuality before I could come out. When I found my first girlfriend at 15 I told my friends and soon my whole school knew, I was lucky with my school as everyone was really supportive and didn't see me any differently.
Recen tly my mum has found out when she caught me and my new girlfriend in my room (most mortifying experience), but it wasn't as bad as I expected she is really supportive and so was my cousin and aunt, however not all my family know and i know some will not accept me.
I am happy within myself and I didn't choice to be bisexual its just what I am, that's not all I am defined as.”
Posted by [No first name supplied] on 23rd Jun at 6:49PM (flag as inappropriate)
I came out in year8 at skool im in college now, n everyone knws most ppl weremnt very shocked to be fair, bt iv stil nt directly told neone in my family otha than my stepbrother bt i reckun my mum knows amyway frm the stuff i used 2 read n cos she knws iv pulled girls n stuff.
It was kinda daunting bt a massive weight of my shoulders, i say anyone hus nt straight shud cum out, if ppl dnt lyk it or u then its their own homophobic problem if they dnt undastand u.
There nt good mates, obviously.
X x X”
Posted by Chel on 19th Jun at 2:12PM (flag as inappropriate)
My boyfriend has realised that he is bisexual but is having a really hard time dealing with it due to coming from a very homophobic background. He's constantly worried that he will get 'found out' and i think its disgraceful that we can still live in such a homophobic society in this day and age.”
Posted by Miki on 16th Jun at 9:42AM (flag as inappropriate)
this video has helped me accept being bisexual and made me think about weather the reaction i think ill get is actually how its going to happen. thank u. Bradley 14”
Posted by Bradley on 15th Jun at 8:30PM (flag as inappropriate)
I am a 17 year old guy and I knew I was bi a year ago. I started to get feelings for one of my best mates and we ended up having sex and he was my boyfriend for a few months. I told everyone in my school that i was bi but as I'm known as the 'man whore' in my year no one was bothered. I've dated and had sexual relationships with many girls and boys and things have been great since coming out. Life is for living so in my opinion just be who you are. I hate the fact I class myself as bi as I feel there is some sort of restriction but the Kinsey scale is an easy way to see your sexual preference x :)”
Posted by Louis on 11th Jun at 12:07AM (flag as inappropriate)
Im a 15 year old guy and im in th same boat as ollie as in i hav really stong feelings for my best m8 (hu is a guy) and I was bullied by ppl callin me gay, until thn i only looked at girls but i kinda started 2 look at guys so pretty sure im bi. I told a few of my closest friends who were all girls and they were all realy happy and have been realy supportive but i dnt thnk i can tell my best m8 as i thnk it would ruin my friendship. I suggest to tell some close friends and then if u feel comfortable tell others.”
Posted by Adam on 4th Jun at 9:10PM (flag as inappropriate)
I'm 19 yrs old nd male nd living in NZ but discovered I was knew I was between 14-15 and actually realised and accepted it wen i was 16. I love both sexes and i feel like i move in cycles, one day i'll feel more attracted 2 girls and other days feel more attracted to men. I've gt 2 gay friends who ive told and were thrilled but I feel they think im actually gay and in denial but tht hasn't affected our friendship nd they'v been really supportive!! I used to feel ashamed at first but then i realised tht im lucky to see the beauty of all!! Anyway everyones bisexual really, thats why men love sports!!”
Posted by Will on 1st Jun at 11:40AM (flag as inappropriate)
I knew I was 'different' from a very young age but just didn't think anything of it, then i got to about 10 and i was quite curious. I met a few boys lately and i felt at home with them and starting going out with one. I came out too my oldest friends first and then other people and now everyone knows, telling my parents was hard but now i feel like i can be myself around them and not feel like i am lying too them, they are very supportive.
O'x”
Posted by Martin on 27th May at 2:45AM (flag as inappropriate)
hi i am a 14 year old boy and i am bi ( well i fink )
for a long time i thought i was bi goin ou with both guys and girls . but about 5 months ago when my girl friend at the time wanted sex and i agreed but i didnt get turned on by it.
i went to my school nurse and she sed it was a phase that i was goin threw.
but come on a phase for 2 years, i recently came out to one of my best mates ( guy ) and insidently we are now goin out
i feel realy happy with guys and i like them alot, i dnt have a clue wat is goin on i thought i was bi and it would be easyier. but now i have NO FEELINGS FOR GIRLS wat do i do HOW DO I TELL PEOPLE”
Posted by grant on 26th May at 10:59PM (flag as inappropriate)
Im an 18 year old girl and before i was 13 i went to co ed schools. Playing with guys more than girls and playing more guy sports than netball and all the lets be careful i might break a nail sport.
After 13 i went to an all gurls school and this changed the way i looked at gurls and getting on with my guys mates i better i would go "oi, that chick over there what would you rate her" 1 being ewwww 10 damn hot. It wasn't untill i met my mates friend that things started to happened. And that i really knew i was bi.
I not worried that i am, and ive been in a long term relationship with my boyfriend (whom i have told) and he encouarge's me (knowing that i wont cheat on him) and he says its a masive turn on.”
Posted by Kelly on 26th May at 7:18AM (flag as inappropriate)
Hi, I am a fourteen year old boy. I am so confused. Please can someone help. I think I am gay or bisexual, or something along those lines. But the thing is, I dont get turned on by girls, but I do fancy some of them. I get turned on by guys a lot, and I am in love with one of my best mates. I have been taumented and teased my whole life becuase of people thinking I am gay. I used to be completely straight and get turned on by girls so much, and not by guys at all, but because of being bullied and the rest of it, I have sort of been turned gay. But I really want kids when I am older, and I love it when i am in a relationship with a girl.
So what do I do? I know, for a fact, my friends would be understanding, infact they probably would like me more. I know my mum would be supportive and wouldn't mind in the slightest. It is just a sister of mine that would probably disown me and quite possibly my dad and grandparents. The funny thing is, if I did come out to the whole of my school, all of the teasing would stop!
All of this has made me so depressed at the moment, and I don't know what to do. I know this sounds bad (but trust me I have absolutely nothing against people that are gay or bisexual) I really don't want to be gay. My life would be so much easier if I wasn't.
I have never had a gay experience in my life. If I did would this help me decide? Can someone help? I don't mind who you are. Please. Would it help coming out to two or three friends that I could trust with anything? HELP. Thank You”
Posted by Ollie on 21st May at 5:08PM (flag as inappropriate)
I was interested in girls when i was about 10. I'm now 13. When i kissed my mate i knew i was bisexaul. It wasnt planned it jus sort of happend. I told my mate that i was bisexaul a couple of months after that happend. I think i told him first cos he is also bisexaul, so i figured he would understand me. He has been really supportive and we often speak about our sexuality. Only 3 other people know that i'm bi, my boyfriend, my other mate and my cousin. They also have been supportive. x”
Posted by Kayleigh on 21st May at 10:29AM (flag as inappropriate)
I kind of knew I fancied girls from a really young age but I didn't really realise it and say it to myself until I was 14. Once I realised I was so desperate to tell someone, so I told my five best friends hoping they'd understand, because I didn't want everyone to know but I didn't mind keeping it from my close friends. I didn't want to tell my friends because I knew it would be horribly embarrassing.
Unfortunately one of my best friends couldn't keep it to herself and told one of her friends who I barely knew and another girl who is like my enemy and it was so embarrassing cos I barely knew them yet they knew one of my most secret secrets. Gradually people told other people who told other people until everyone at my school knew. My friends didn't respect my privacy at all and I am no longer confident at school before I feel like everyones staring at me. When I get upset about it, my friends say it's my fault for telling people, not their fault for telling people. I hate being centre of attention, all I want to be is invisible, and now I can't do that. I am kind of getting used to the attention though but I'm still totally mortified, and a small part of me will always hate my friends for betraying my trust.”
Posted by Lily on 16th May at 10:18PM (flag as inappropriate)
Hi everyone, i am a age 14 male and i am confused with my sexuality. i have been bullied at school and called 'gay' and it got so bad that i cut myself.
I want children later in life so i tried to convince myself that i was straight but i am attracted to guys in my school but also attracted to girls i don't want to come out because people might be not at all supportive, i am not sure what my best friend will think either. I have come to the conclusion that i am bi.
I need some advice on coming out please help me. xx”
Posted by Stuart on 11th May at 5:57PM (flag as inappropriate)
I'm 14. I started coming out about a month ago as bisexual, but for months before I had been claiming bicurious, even though I've known for years. Alot of my friends have ditched me. I haven't told my family because my mum said she'd disown us if any of us said we were gay in the slightest. In fact, my old enemies have been the most understanding of all, funny how that works, isn't it?”
Posted by Jo on 3rd May at 10:58PM (flag as inappropriate)
If your scared about coming out as bi it's ok. I am a male bi that came out a few weeks ago to my school there 1st reaction was "how do you now at 13" I said I've had experiances. If you don't want to let it all out like me then keep it to very close freinds . After I came out I've noticed more people that are bi and gay I have a wonderful boyfriend ATM that is very helpful when I feel a bit down. There will be some homophobic comments and questions but u learn to live with it. I have been asked a few times by boys if they where gay straight or bi so I said explore your personality one of them came out as bi and he is my boyfriend now, we have helped each other out and try to make other people understand what we are some are confused because it's not that common in our area but every thing is working out fine now and we are happy in our lives. The one thing I don't no how to do is keep it from my family I have sneaky suspisions they already no but i will tell them when I'm ready not when they are. X X X X”
Posted by Callum on 1st May at 11:51PM (flag as inappropriate)
i think you have to have had gay or bi feelings for a good 6 months or so before you can be sure, coz everyone goes through a "gay phase" at sum point. i realised i was bi when i was 17. i think that telling people isnt a neccessity. you can tell whoever you're comfortable with but only a handful of people at my school know. i act like me and if people guess then i dont deny it i just ask them not to spread it round. be true to yourself and if you decide to go back to being straight, dont worry, be you and no one will be bothered”
Posted by Amy on 29th Apr at 8:49PM (flag as inappropriate)
Hey all!
Well I realized I was gay at about 12 but I didn't come out until about 16. I told friends individually at first and made them swear not to spread it. I go to an all boys school and well homophobia is a major problem with both the students and the teachers. My old headmaster said I wasn't allowed to bring a guy to my prom luckily he has retired now. I have had a fair amount of grief from people and have ended up in hospital. So I just wanted to warn you that you need to be prepared for a bad reaction but hope for the best. My friends have been incredibly awesome and cool about it and I have become remarkably close to all my female friends. I am not what you would call a stereotypical gay man, (apart from my music taste apparently) being gay is a small part of who I am and it makes me me. I get a lot of grief from the Christian Union in my school inviting me to "Make Yourself Straight Workshops". I am not sure how to handle this issue because I am agnostic (I don't know if I believe in God or not) and well I don't want to burn my bridges. So for now i just turn them down. I am incredibly lucky that I have a youth group for LGBTQ (Lesbian, gay, bi, transsexuals, or questioning) young people in my city and they helped me develop into a more confident person I recommend investigating whether there is one near you! I love who I am now and in some ways my coming out has shown me who my friends were!!!”
Posted by Huw on 21st Apr at 10:53AM (flag as inappropriate)
i found out i was bi by around the age of 13. i'd always had feelings for my friend and he said he had feelings for me too on my 16th and we both ended up having sex a few times and it was great! since then i told all my friends and family who were more then ccepting about it and im in a great relationship with a girl at the moment. it has never bothered me as people have always known me to be a bit of a 'man slag' anyway and no one was really surprised.
its best just to be free about your sexuality and go for it!”
Posted by Joe on 18th Apr at 3:51AM (flag as inappropriate)
I finally accepted my self yo be gay when I was 13. To be completely honest I am actually really happy that I am gay although I wasn't to start of with. I am really worried about coming out about it but I actually think that most people kind of know I am gay anyway.”
Posted by Alex on 16th Apr at 10:38PM (flag as inappropriate)
i thought i was bi and came out at my school. but now i am having doubts and im pretty sure im straight. i haven't told my family yet si its ok if i am straight but i don't want to tell anyone who reckons im bi cos im 2 embarresed. can any1 give me any advice on wot 2 do”
Posted by Jake on 15th Apr at 11:50PM (flag as inappropriate)
I'm 16 and I guess I am bisexual, I have had a boyfriend for about a year. However I'm really attracted to one of my best friends, at first I thought I just loved her as a mate but slowly I realised this was not the case.
I would love to tell my friends but am unsure of how they will react as a couple are slightly homophobic, this includes the girl I fancy. I also don't really know whether to tell my boyfriend as I do really adore him, which might sound wierd at 16 but he has helped me through depression etc and was always there for me. So I just can't stand the idea of hurting him. But I think I will tell him soon.”
Posted by [No first name supplied] on 15th Apr at 11:49PM (flag as inappropriate)
Wow i could never say anything like that you Mike are very brave. Good on you !!!”
Posted by Holly on 13th Apr at 8:56PM (flag as inappropriate)
I knew I was gay from when I was 11 and people were saying, "Don't you think that girl is hot" I would be standing there thinking "No, but her boyfriend isn;t too bad". Being gay doesn't mean your different, it just means you have different sexual prefrences to other people. I came out in my school and expected people to be weird with me, but most people were fine and accepted it was who I was. You will always get those who are less open minded but that doesn't matter. All that matters is you are happy as who you are! I'm nearly 19 now and have been with my boyfriend for 6 months. We are going strong, being gay doesn't mean your life is over. It is the beginning of a path into discovery of who you are. So be proud of yourself and keep smiling!”
Posted by Darryl on 12th Apr at 8:29PM (flag as inappropriate)
i geuss i have always realised that i have had feelings for girls. Even when i was in primary school i have always thought of girls as girlfriends as well as friends but becuase i was so young i didnt understand or act on it. when i reached year 7 i had a friend who later became my girlfriend but she was just experimenting, she now has a boyfriend, although we do see eachother alot. In my old school it was harder to come out and becuase i still live in the area people who live near me dont know. but i am fortunate to go to a school about 7 miles away from my house. i started to become more comfortable in my school when i told a friend that i was bisexual and she told me she was too. then i started telling more and more people. eventually the whole school knows. i am fortunate because if anything i have gained friends and i have helped people to come out also, and helped people to realise that they might be gay or bi or whatever. i think if i stayed in my old school that i wouldnt have come out. i love this site i wish it was around when i was younger, it would have helped alot!!!”
Posted by Kristen on 12th Apr at 12:15PM (flag as inappropriate)
I am 36, when i was young, i never could decide whether i was gay bi or straight. I went through many different phases and was really confused. The unfortunate thing now is that i am married with 2 children, and i have now come to the conclusion that i am gay. My wife knows this and has done so for a long time. We have decided to stay together for the sake of our children. Lots of people may not agree with this, but i don't want my children to suffer for my problems(she has known for 11 years now). In time when they are older, i think i will come out and tell everyone i am gay. I cannot wait for this day. I just want everyone who might read this who may not be sure of their sexuality, to make sure that they don't end up having kids before they decide whether they are gay or not. The situation is by far ideal, but i find myself in this situation so i have to make the best of it. I am not selfish enough to walk away for my own happiness, i have to consider my children too and also my wife, she has really supported me well, and i owe it to her to give her support back. I also love my kids and i cannot express how happy i am to be part of my life. I have been really lucky to have them!!!!”
Posted by Michael on 11th Apr at 10:17PM (flag as inappropriate)
ive known scince the age of twelve that i was gay, having a sexual experience with a friend, and ever scince i kept it to my self all throughout school, and when i started college things were difrent and i made new friends, and i decided to come out to her as bisexual thiniing this would be much easier than gay and more accepted , eventualy many of my friends found out through a text i sent to a gay mate , i was so confused and i felt alone, eventualy i told my friends i was gay, and not long after that my sister , and my brother and my cousins, i havent told my parents yet im very woried about my dads reaction as well as my mums, and im nearly 19 !! .”
Posted by Anthony on 9th Apr at 8:45PM (flag as inappropriate)
I am 26year old male who has kept being gay a secret for over 15years in order to make my parents happy etc. My parent woldn't understand and keep making homophobic comments I have been bullied in the past especially at school and have no idea what to do.”
Posted by Andy on 9th Apr at 8:05PM (flag as inappropriate)
im in year 10 at school and am really not sure what i am. there are girls i like and there are boys i like. i like mostly the physical aspects of the boys (muscles etc) but with the girls im attracted to everything about them.”
Posted by [No first name supplied] on 9th Apr at 7:30PM (flag as inappropriate)
i think this is an amazing lil forum, i'm 16 now and my dad found out that i am bisexual like 3 days before xmas (which i didnt tell him and didnt intend to untill after) but now i thik about it dont really care i am wot i am and people accept me because i tell it str8
but imust also say tht probs tha onli reason i a oki with it is thanx to my friends and things lyk bebo (their bi & gay groups)”
Posted by phil on 9th Apr at 4:19PM (flag as inappropriate)
I found out I was bisexual when I was 12, when I was attracted to some of my close girl friends, but while I was dating a guy. I didn't understand it till I turned 13 and got another bi friend, whom I am now dating. She's helped me to open up more. She's the first girl I've dated, and though I'm still getting used to the idea, our relationship is stable and overall the most comfortable one I've had.
At the beginning of the year I finally came out to my parents. My close friends had known for a while and somehow the school ended up finding out too. Everyone used to mock me for a while, but eventually things quietened down and no one commented on it anymore. Mainly because my coming out caused some of my close friends to admit they were gay and bi to our mates as well.”
Posted by [No first name supplied] on 9th Apr at 5:40AM (flag as inappropriate)
I think i am gay i am always watching gay porn and fantasising about men but it makes me feel sick to think that i'm gay I dont want to be gay what can i do?”
Posted by andrew on 7th Apr at 8:54PM (flag as inappropriate)
I first relised i was bi when i was at a friends house sleeping for the night and in the late hours of night we both had sex i was really happy with it but he wasnt! but i was still unsure if i was gay or bi for about 3 years after that but then i finally plucked up the courage and told a very close friend that i thought i was bi and she was fine with it and then we started talking about it and we worked out that i wasnt gay but i was bi! and then i told a few other friends but it was hard for me because my school is very homophobic so i could only tell my true friends! but it was easy to because most people thought i was gay anyway and that made it easier! now im not holding back if people ask me "are you gay?" i answer "NO! im bi!" now the only other people left to tell are my parents!! but my advice to others is don't bury your head in the sand just come out and say it!! you WILL feel a lot beter for doing so! xxx”
Posted by Ian on 7th Apr at 1:46PM (flag as inappropriate)
Well these comments are really comforting! I am 14 and I never realised that so many people my age had came out. I really want to but I just feel that I would be made a fool of at school, so I'm gonna wait until the people in my year at school are more mature. I have such a big crush on a guy in the year above me :) So I know I am gay and I have knew that for a while! Unfortunately he is not gay i don't think?”
Posted by Jordan on 6th Apr at 8:26PM (flag as inappropriate)
Im 17 and have been wondering about my sexuality for about 2 years now, im pretty sure im gay but i still get attracted to women, i havn't come out yet and i dont plan to until im completely sure about it myself, I just dont want to be disowned by everyone, some of my best friends would be ok with it but i dont know how some would handle it, im really confused and i can feel it eating away at me from the insides. Any help?”
Posted by Richard on 6th Apr at 4:10PM (flag as inappropriate)
I'm 17 and had been questioning my sexuality for a good few years but really didn't want to be 'the only gay in the village' and out as gay only to end up actually having gay sex and hating it and regretting it. I came out less than 2 months ago after meeting the boy who is now my amazing boyfriend. I haven't had any negative comments from anyone, my mum found it a bit of a shock and everything but it's all been ok.
I would advise people not to come out the way I did though. I really couldn't face telling my family to their faces so I left a note telling them everything and a week later had the boyfriend round for sunday lunch. I wish I'd given my family a bit more time to get used to it, even if it meant that for a while it would have meant I looked like a bit of a spotty virgin.”
Posted by Tom on 6th Apr at 2:56PM (flag as inappropriate)
Hey, i first realised i might of been gay when i was about 13. For years i tryed to pretend i was straight, and act like i wasn't gay, even though thats all I would think about. Anyway, i finally came out to my best friend when i was 17, because he had just come out to me. And in the 2 weeks after that, I told all of my friends, not one person had a problem with it in my college, most people have had sexual experiences with the same sex anyway, and there are more bi and gay people than straight! Well anyway, after this, i decided it was time to tell my mum and sisters, i told my mum and she was really happy i told her, and then she told my sisters the next day, and they were all joking and happy i came out... which was a big shock to me, because i had always thought they were homophobic, also my mum, but i guess that was my fear working against me. I've just turned 18 and i have just started going out on the gay scene, and its amazing... im the happiest i've ever been and i am totally myself which is nice after 5 years of hiding... my advice to anyone not out, and unhappy, is to come out, because it doesn't matter what other people think, its what you think... and you should make the most of what you are given, but you will probably be suprised at how many people nowadays will just accept you whatever your sexuality... good luck x”
Posted by Ben on 6th Apr at 3:31AM (flag as inappropriate)
hey, im 16 and i find that i am sexually attracgted to girls, but now and then i get a feeling tht i like a guy, and i get turned on by watching gay porn... is this normal? am i gay bi, or straight ?”
Posted by adam on 6th Apr at 12:14AM (flag as inappropriate)
My case is a strange one. I've been attracted to other guys for about 3-4 years and came out as bisexual at 15.
However, at 17 I decided I was gay and came out to my parents just before my 18th. All my friends in college were really supportive as were my tutors and family.
After sleeping with a few guys, I realised that I don't really like sex with other guys. I am unsure whether I am straight but physically attracted (not sexually) to guys, or just asexual but physically attracted to guys.
Anyone have any ideas or similar situations?”
Posted by CM on 5th Apr at 8:35PM (flag as inappropriate)
i hav a mager problem everyone thinks iam gay and hav asked me,i have always said no.as i am 13, i like girls wen i was 11,then just boys at about 11 in a half now i now truely belleve iam bi and fancy both girls and boys at my school. the problem is i dont now how to tell people iam bi,and i dont want to be on my own and face the people victomizing me.”
Posted by mathew on 5th Apr at 8:32PM (flag as inappropriate)
i don't remember the first time i realised i was bisexual, but i've never been ashamed of it. At school i told my close friends and they were all cool with it (as far as i knew) i even had one other girl say that she was unsure of her sexuality herself. i guess its a tough time of your life when you're just working out everything that goes on in the world of sex. When i left school and went to college i was totally honest and upfront about it to everyone. obviously i never went shouting from the rooftops that i was bi, just if anyone asked they'd get the truth! I have a lot of gay straight and bisexual friends and luckily enough ive never met anyone who has a problem with my sexuality or has ever said anything derogatory about me because of it. I am happy with who i am and i think the more happy you are with yourself, the more people around you will accept it.
My advice to anyone who is coming to terms with their sexuality, is just to be happy with who you are, do things your own way and in your own time.”
Posted by [No first name supplied] on 5th Apr at 4:38PM (flag as inappropriate)
I've just been Reading all the other comments and its reminded me that being homosexual/bisexual is so much more common than some people make it out to be. And I find it so enlightening to be able to relate to other peoples stories. I'm 14 and have been thinking about the possibility of being lesbian for maybe a year and a half now. In this time and before I've had five completely unserious boyfriends who I never really got further than a friendly hug or a kiss on the cheek. Even that didn't feel right at the time but maybe that was because I was quite young. I have only just realised in the past year that it might be because I don't fancy boys. Throughout my childhood, my parents (especially my mum) have said that it's perfectly acceptable to be gay and she wouldnt think anything different of me if I decided I was. I told my ex bestfriend who a few months before had surely fallen for. She was surprised when I had told her over msn and reassured me that it was normal to be gay ( which I already knew) she was a bit patronising at first and fir about a week or 2 she kept saying "awww that's so sweet". She didn't really understand at all though-even though she told me that she had had fleeting thoughts of fancying girls but that she didn't swing that way. A couple of months ago I felt angry allot and very emotional and I figured that it was to do with me bottling my feelings for girls up. My mum and I had always been open about our feelings and when I was nine and suffered from paranoi and depression I used to tell by mum Everything to make me feel better. So one night when I was feeling particularly upset a couple of months ago I sat my mum down in my room and told her everything that i was feeling upset about. She comforted me untill I told her that Ithought I might be lesbian. She wasn't angry one bit. She just didn't know what to say. She wasn't speechless but she didn't really understand. I was quite surprised to see her react this awkwardly so I toned it down allot and made it sound like I probably wasn't but I had been thinking about it. My mum then said that when she was my age she and her friends had "crushes" on other girls which basically meant that she admired them in those days. She told me that Her now best friends daughter is straight but has had open girlfriends before and that loads of people experimented in college. My mum said that she was ok with it but it didn't feel that way. She said that she wanted grandchildren which made me feel guilty and for about 2 weeks she didn't hug me like before. Now it's all ok even though I havnt told the rest of my friends. I wasn't exactly sure which I was. until now I'd never really thought about being bi but I suppose for now that is what I think I am. I really like one of my bestfriends though and she's got a boyfriend. Allthough she does show signs of liking girls. I reckon she has thought as much as me about all this. I have experimented with girls and talked to friends now though without actually coming out and they all said that they've had confused thoughts allot too. I now feel so much more easy about the whole sexuality thing but this girl I fancy keeps flirting with this other girl. Ive never felt jealous before and now I fancy this boy that my other friend fancies. Haha ... ”
Posted by Billie on 5th Apr at 10:04AM (flag as inappropriate)
i'm 18, i never really had a problem with "coming out". of my two closest friends, one is bi and the other gay, so it's always been completely natural. there was never a stigma at my college, more people claimed to be bi than not, like it was a fashion! i'm at uni now and all my new friends are completely fine about it, especially the girls, as i was worried they would all think i was coming onto them just because i'm bi.
good luck to those who weren't as lucky as i was, and remember whatever people's reactions may be, it's never the end of the world and things will get better x”
Posted by [No first name supplied] on 5th Apr at 2:33AM (flag as inappropriate)
I got very drunk at a party and slept in a bed next to my best mate,he knew i was unsur/bi, out to y close friends, which i sprung on them with a lie, but it felt good to tell the truth but definately not out to parents although i sur they have their suspicions.
we both had like a real heart to heart and then later when we were both drowsy/sleeping, i realised we were really close together, he was nearly backing onto me and i kind of felt up my mate -both of us were aroused, but hes quite definately straight, he didn object totaly but then we were both hammered and maybe trying something new- i have no experience at all and although i didnt do anything serious i still feel REALLY guilty, the next morning he didnt give any clue to his feelings to me, i dont know if he remembers anything at all or if its should be just kept quiet, it makes me feel unhappy as i feel i 'forced' this to happen and i dont want it to drive us apart as mates. Can anyone help with a suggestion with what i should do?”
Posted by Tim on 4th Apr at 10:38PM (flag as inappropriate)
hi there, i didn't really find the real me till i was 18/19. although i had some feeling that was diffrent to some of my mates. i came out to some of my mates a few months later with mixed reactions. never really came out to most of the family but think that close family knew as started to get copies of gay time mag every month. if that didn't give the game away then the first time bought my b/f home certainly did. as have changed jobs alot recently haven't really told many work mates. most asume that am straight. maybe once feel have settled down for now i will.”
Posted by roy on 4th Apr at 10:33PM (flag as inappropriate)
hay i came out to my mum and stepdad when i was 16 and it was fine i got my sister to tell them as i didnt no how but my mum just said ur still my son and i loved u befor and i will love u now. I told my mates about 6 months befor i told my family they said its fine u stll the same person just because u sleep with guys dont mean we wont talk to you. i would say to any one who is thinking about coming out do it but when you are ready because it will be one off the hardesed thing you do in life but one of the most easy things to do as all you need to say is " I AM WHAT I AM"”
Posted by shane on 4th Apr at 5:26PM (flag as inappropriate)
i completely agree with what mike is saying on this ideo it is alot harder to come out as bi-sexual. i am 19 and befor now i only came out to close friends but then i moed to london to go to uni i thought about turning over a new leaf so i didnt keep my sexuality hidden if someone asked me at uni i would tell them i was bi sexual it was such a realise to tell people and not hide my feelings. i am studying on a cousre where there are alot og bi sexuals and homosexuals in the industery so acceptance was easier than it would be somewhere else but people mostly women hang up on the fact that you are bi, if you are interested in them but overall the straight men in my uni respect the fact that i am not curious or undecided i am completely bi and they do ask question because it isnt come accross of publishised as much as gay or straight. cheers mike it is reassuring to know i wasnt alone in people not understanding”
Posted by conor on 4th Apr at 4:16PM (flag as inappropriate)
At the moment i dont know what i am, for about 2/3 years now i have been bi/gay currious but i dont know what sexuality i am yet. As of yet i am still a virgin in all aspects so i dont know what it is like to be with anyone sexualy although i do get more turned on towards men than women, its really confusing and im keeping it all to myself as i dont want to be disowned by the ones i love but eventualy i think i will crack and i dont know how people will react! Any Help Would Be Great! Thanx.”
Posted by Rich on 3rd Apr at 11:40PM (flag as inappropriate)
coming out to my family and friends id the hardest thing that i have ever had to do as i felt everyone would judge me but after i told everyone they accepted me for who i am.
there is the odd few people out there that feel the need to judge but hey as long as i am happy who cares and strate people do not have to explain themselves so why should i.”
Posted by karl on 3rd Apr at 10:02PM (flag as inappropriate)
when i was about 14 i was told by my best freind that she was a lesbian and all of our other freinds totally dismissed her. when i was about 15 i son discovered that i had an attraction to boys. i had never actually had a Bf but im scared if i come out all my freinds will dismiss me.”
Posted by Liam on 3rd Apr at 8:29PM (flag as inappropriate)
I'm 15 and a few weeks before Christmas I came out to some of my more trusted mates that I'm bi. I told them not to tell my BF but one of them did. He was acting wierd around me(I didn't know that he knew) and so was the mate that told. I told my BF a few days later and he seemed fine with it. He told me he already knew. It was easy coming out to him and my mates but I think that my parents won't understand and think that I'm too young to know about my sexuality. Also my not-so-close-friend s definatly won't understand. They already name call because of the way I dress. I'm not ashamed of how I feel I just don't want to give them more reasons to hate me. Is there any advice for coming out? Or should I just grit my teeth and do it?”
Posted by Katie on 3rd Apr at 5:39PM (flag as inappropriate)
I wasnt even sure if i was gay until two years ago when i first met the partner im with now. my family are all very religious and dont agree with being gay however they found out about two months ago and are being ok with me about it they said they are just glad im happy for once. it was scary but its something that we all have to do. with my friends i just let them work it out for them selfs they are your mates for a reason so of course they will still love you.bite the bullet and just do it if not you will forever be scared of being yourself.”
Posted by Gemma on 3rd Apr at 5:05PM (flag as inappropriate)
hey peeps
i'm 14 and have a dilema,i have never realy questioned my sexuality until about 6 munths ago i wen out on a friday nite wid some friends and played a game of dares and 1 of my friends who are gay got dared to kiss me with tonges so i did and strangly i liked it(i mean really liked it),i decided about 2 munths ago that i was 'gay'/'bisexual' and never really gave it a second thought but i really dont know how to tell anybody
i have told my gay friend(well my boyfriend now)and a few really close mates but as far as other friends and family i really dont know how to do it
i mean should i wait till i have left school and in college should i tell evryone now should i tell my family.
PLEASE HELP SHED SUM LIGHT ON WHAT I SHOULD DO !”
Posted by [No First Name Supplied] on 3rd Apr at 4:06PM (flag as inappropriate)
Hi People.
I came out just after my 16th birthday. For years before I tried living a lie and tried being straight. I was always depressed and livied in fear of what people would say if they knew. The day I came out I thought the worst. My mum accepted it and was actually glad I told her. A lot of my friend's didn't like it but that't there problem not mine eh?! So for any people out there who are scared to come out. Do it it doesnt matter what people think as long as your happy thats all that matters.”
Posted by Nick on 3rd Apr at 3:52PM (flag as inappropriate)
i am 18 and started to question my sexuality at 17 cause i was attracted to my best mate who is straight and i have come out to a few friends and i am still watin to come out to my parents and im 18 and proud of my sexuality --- lesbian”
Posted by [No First Name Supplied] on 3rd Apr at 3:36PM (flag as inappropriate)
i want to come out as bi but i am "one of the lads" and hang about with mainly boys and also like girls more than boys but i always check out boys in class + sometimes i like it. I've done stuff with girls but i would like to see what it would be like to do stuff with boys
im really confused + dont know what to do”
Posted by Ian on 3rd Apr at 3:11PM (flag as inappropriate)
Coming out of the personal closet:
I first realised I was gay when i was about 14, even though I had been looking at gay stuff on the net and having feelings for guys at about 2 and a half years beforehand! I just sat down one night, thinking about one guy in my year, and thought; 'I'm gay'. It was a totally surreal feeling, as I had never questioned my sexuality before that evening. My feelings had just come naturally to me. I suppose that coming out to yourself is one of the hardest things any gay person will have to do. Now I'm sixteen and about to move up to college. I still find it really weird to identify myself as 'gay', as I've never really fitted into the feminine gay stereotype.
Comi ng out to other people:
I'm sixteen now, and have NO intentions of coming out to the general public while at school. I've told three friends, two of whom are really accepting, one of whom is acting really strangely towards me. I'm hoping that as I get to college, there will be more people who are accepting and less of the brain dead, homophobic. At the moment, I think that most of my school would make fun of me left,right and center.
Good luck to anybody who is thinking of coming out; you'll be stronger because of it.”
Posted by Ben on 3rd Apr at 1:25PM (flag as inappropriate)
i came out when i was 13, but only thing i would have changed was the person i came out to. the first person i came out to was this guy i really liked, bad idea. he took it badly and even though he, himself has now come out he still wont talk tome. i will say if anyone, is thinking about comeing out they should tink about what they whant to say, ow to say it, but i would advise, not to come out like i did to my mother in the middle of a argument. that turned out ok but it was not the way i whanted it to go. i will also say, that not may people relise when comeing out th hardest person to come out is yourself. if you feel like you need to talk to some one before you comeout there are pleant of people to alk to either phone the LGBT switchboard or find a local lgbt youth group, and this will support you grately. the biggest thing i have learned from coeming out, if that even though it is hard and sometimes fritning, is that, no matter how bad it sceams at first it really dose get better”
Posted by [No First Name Supplied] on 3rd Apr at 1:13PM (flag as inappropriate)
i was 14 when i started to have feeling for boys and i was ashamed to tell any1 and i just kept it to myself but i couldn't keep it and so i told my best friend first and she was cool i was really suprised how she reacted and we still talk now after that i kept getting nagged and nagged whether i was gay and i was in denial for about half a year until one day at the end of yr 9 i just changes my answer and said yes to this person that kept asking he froze still and i just turned around and carried on with my work for the year after that yr 10 i kept getting ragged by people but it didn't get to me i just managed to let it go over my head and now nearly everyone in my school is cool with it. i did however find it hard to tell my mum but then my sister being a lesbian told her for me which i got rather annoyed with her but then because she had come out several years before they where like cool you can be whatever you want to be. i think at first she was dissapointed but now her and my dad have come to terms and i am glad about that. the only thing i want to do now is answer my grandma when she asks if i have got a girlfriend i just want to tell her the truth and next time she asks i am going to tell her the truth because bottling it up till i get older i will get worse and harder to tell them. i hope my grandma takes it as good as my mother did”
Posted by [No first name supplied] on 3rd Apr at 11:37AM (flag as inappropriate)
I came out to my parents as gay earlier this year but came out to my friends... oh it was about 3 years ago. I've had some awful trouble with guys in the past and not everybody has been supportive. but as time goes on people get used to the fact and realise that you aren't going to change. So i'm now 16 going on 17 in a fab relationship with a fab young man and love him millions. To everybody who wants t come out and can't muster the courage. Things get better after first telling everybody. All the best x”
Posted by tom on 3rd Apr at 8:34AM (flag as inappropriate)
My exspirence was'nt all that good. As i told somone who i thourght was my closest freind and was not becuse he spreaded it i seconds around my college class . thankfully most took it well they where just anoyed i hid it from them and didnt just be open about the situation of me being Bi. so best thing i think anyone out there should do is find the right time and just say it be open about it that way people respect u more for having the will power to tell them. and if some get funny over it the dont worry its becuse they dont understand.”
Posted by Chris on 3rd Apr at 7:28AM (flag as inappropriate)
hey im now 18 but when i was around 13 or 14 i decided that I was gay, i told a few of my close friends and they were cool with it, when i was in high school i was taunted about it but never told anyone else apart from my friends. I then decided to tell my family around the age of 16 and my aunt kept telling me I was and i denied it for so long but then actually came out to her. My family support me, but now ive realised that I am bi, just am a virgin in the girl department. Slept with many guys and am happy and proud to be bi !!
Sexuality is real - str8 bi or gay live the life you want, dont let it be dicatated for you”
Posted by Michael on 3rd Apr at 1:09AM (flag as inappropriate)
I am bisexual and i want to tell my friends, but im afriad of want they will say! and if they dont accept me for me!”
Posted by Danny on 2nd Apr at 11:51PM (flag as inappropriate)
I am 16 and I am bisexual. I came out to my friends first, and they seemed all right with it. When I got my first boyfriend, girls videoed us making out. It fell into the wrong hands and into my school. I had told them a week before the video was taken, but they can’t have known what it meant (they’re a simple minded bunch). They sent it around the whole school. Not one person was my friend the next day. It never went away, and it never will. These simple minded people are the problem in this situation. I still get asked if the friend I’m hanging out with is my gay friend.”
Posted by sam on 2nd Apr at 10:09PM (flag as inappropriate)
I am bi I know this .... So does most my school it started off with a coversation and it just came out. I was going to tell them when I was ready I thought they'd ask to many questions like how do I no I am cause I'm only 13 but I no I am cause I have had a BF befor (secritly) and I liked it this secret spread round the school too fast... Insults are made when people don't understand something (perfectly normal) but I'm worried this will spread to my family I don't want my mum to find out... I know she will eventually but I want it to be later then now . I just want a NORMAL LIFE no questions asked I just want my secret back I know it my sound weird but I want It kept to myself just another little secret i NEED help please someone give advise how to tell my family they are homophobic. They just don't like anything new”
Posted by [No first name supplied] on 2nd Apr at 10:03PM (flag as inappropriate)
I came out as Bi when i was 14. Im now 15 and everyone has grown to accept it. I have not told my parents yet because my dad is a homophobe, but my mum wont care because she wants someone to take shopping every weekend.
When i did tell people, it was only my friends at first, but one of them told someone else, he told another, and he told another etc. And soon, all the really fit girls knew and were asking me if it was true, i was like... ah crap! but yeah it died down after about a week and now all is well.
Buy the way, does anyone have any advise on telling the family?.
Thanks. :)”
Posted by Henry on 2nd Apr at 10:02PM (flag as inappropriate)
i know how you feel but i had friends then i lost them and they bullied me alot so i am regreting coming out but its nice for men to like you as well as girls.”
Posted by charlie on 2nd Apr at 7:39PM (flag as inappropriate)
I'm 14 and i am not sure what i am, whether i'm straight, bi, gay. i find both sexes attractives or at least i think i do. i've told some of my friends that i'm maybe bi and thank fully they're all really open minded and are perfectly fine with it but i haven't told my parents or family, not because they'll freak out but because i don't see the need to,as i have gay relatives and friends. but do they have a right to know? Should i tell them, or wait and see whether i am bi and come home with a girlfriend and tell them then?”
Posted by [No First Name Suplied] on 2nd Apr at 7:08PM (flag as inappropriate)
I'm bi (female), and most of my close friends know - it wasn't a big deal for me to come out to them because a couple of them are bi or lesbian as well, so I already knew they'd probably be okay with it. I haven't told one friend because I'm not sure how she'd react; she's quite Christian, doesn't quite know what to think of gay/bi people, and I just don't want to lose her friendship.
My parents don't know either. I'm not going to tell them until after university, probably.
And only a couple of my friends know that my best friend is, in fact, my girlfriend.”
Posted by Addie on 2nd Apr at 6:16PM (flag as inappropriate)
My older brother went through this stage where he was really depressed. Everyone kept saying he might be gay, and my mother and other brother said they were going to corner him and just ask. I stopped them however, and said I am bi. It was weird. I told my brother first, who just froze and didn't say anything. I wanted to laugh, but I felt like I was going to die. I didn't though. The weirdest thing was that the exact moment I told my brother, my mother walked in and kept asking why my brother wouldn't move. It was funny, but I was so scared.
The important thing is that you should do it in private, which is what I didn't do. And tell someone you are REALLY close to. Straight people don't understand what it is like, so tell someone you know wont tell someone else. And take it slow. It is a big change. Tell a few people.”
Posted by [No First Name Supplied] on 2nd Apr at 10:01AM (flag as inappropriate)
Hi...the one impression I have gained reading the comments on this page is that altho many of the young people still experience very understandable angst about their sexuality and do still encounter family and social disapproval, the wolrd really has moved on since I was their age. I am 55, was married for 20+ years but divorced 6 years ago. It would simply not have been possible (apart from there being no internet then to help share experiences)when I was 16 for people to be so open and frank. I had been mildly curious for a while and when on my own I decided to find out whether it really was me or just a fantasy. I didnt just dive in to bed with the first male I could find but went to a professional gay masseur. Yes, I paid for it. I loved it and want to try more - but unlike so many of the young adults writing here I find it very hard to even think about being open about it. So i have gained a lot from reading about your experiences - and I dont feel like a freak now! Thank you.”
Posted by Alister on 2nd Apr at 4:52AM (flag as inappropriate)
I first realised I liked girls and boys when I was about 13 (bisexual). Didn't tell my mum until news years eve 2008 (I was 18 and I am still 18) Her expression and comments were hurtful but she got used to it”
Posted by [No first name supplied] on 2nd Apr at 12:13AM (flag as inappropriate)
I think there is a massive difference between being bisexual and being gay, when you're bi you just love people in general, whereas being gay is just like being straight really.”
Posted by Laura on 2nd Apr at 12:10AM (flag as inappropriate)
I'm 16 years old. I didn't come out as bisexual to my friends until I got my first girlfriend last year. None of my friends judged me but I have never quite gotten round to telling my family which I am dreading because my mum is quite odd about these things.”
Posted by Amy on 1st Apr at 11:52PM (flag as inappropriate)
hey, well im gay i think... wel, maybe bisexual.... dont know if to come out, im not sure how my friends will take it... iv eexperimented with my best mate :/.. and iv told him that im gay... and recently told him i like him more as a best mate.. which for the first 2 mins he was annoyed with me and very mean... but then ofcourse i fell apart and we both talked about it for an hour.. and now were great, still best mates (im sure uv guessed hes not into me in that way :()....”
Posted by [No first name supplied] on 1st Apr at 11:48PM (flag as inappropriate)
I have this massive dilemma, i think i'm a 16 girl and i think i've always had my doubts about my sexuality but never really told anyone, then i went through that whole slutty with guys thing to kinda convince myself i was straight but then one night when im best friend was staying over we were just lying in bed and we kiss and from there we had this whole secretive, wirlwind romance and i really think i fell in love but now im kinda scared because i don't know if that was proving my thoughts about being bi or if it was just confusion between friends like the trust and love was there anyway we just went further and alot more sexual. i just dont know how i would ever come out to my family and friends, i know my sisters would be fine with it as my older sisters best friend is bi and she is accepting of anyone but i just wouldn't know how to say it, my friends aren't exactly the most accepting people and the thought of being shunned scares me, should i just wait until i'm older and people are more accepting?”
Posted by S on 1st Apr at 11:17PM (flag as inappropriate)
to be honest i have no problem whatsoever with my sexuality, ive always known i was gay, my parents knew deep down too, i came out at 16 and since then i have had no negative comments about it, i talk openly about my life to anyone who asks, i have no problem telling a stranger that my fiance is a man and why should i? coming out was the best thing i could have done for my life”
Posted by ross on 1st Apr at 10:11PM (flag as inappropriate)
I think the best thing that one can get from coming out (as opposed to 'staying in the closet') is that if/when your paretns and close friends say "that's cool, this changes nothing" or "i'm fine with that, you're still my friend", you suddenly realize that actually, these people are your friends not because of what you are, but because of who you are, and that is far more important.
about a year ago, when i was 13,i never felt so happy as when my parents said they still loved me and their only concern was that people would try to hurt me, and some have, mostly out of ignorance or a sense of fear. to be honest, if someone doesn't like you because you're gsy/bi/lesbian, are they the sort of person you want to know? for all you know, they could just be insecure, so don't let them put you down, becaue being honest about your sexuality is a great thing, because whatever sexuality you have, it's a gift!”
Posted by [No first name supplied] on 1st Apr at 10:02PM (flag as inappropriate)
i think i am bisexual i have told my friends and they r fine with it they just say it dont change who u r, u will still u. i just need to tell my family now some people in my family know is just my dad and granparants that dont know how do i tell them?”
Posted by [No first name supplied] on 1st Apr at 9:51PM (flag as inappropriate)
Im bisexual and i came out to my friends. I got a bit of stick to start with untill thay started to get used to it. Some of my friends couldent understand it thay are no longer my friends as i get abuse from them.
Later my other friend came out as bi and he now gives me abuse saying things like " What are you Gay!" in a really hertfull way and he some times hit me. The only reason im telling this to you is if you do come out as bi gay or lesbien be sure to make sure you are ready as you may losse friends over it.”
Posted by Andrew on 1st Apr at 9:36PM (flag as inappropriate)
I left it much too late - I didn't tell anyone that I was gay until I was 26, which compared to some isn't old, but for me looking back, I know I spent way too long agonising about what people would say and how they would react. Plus I felt frustrated that I couldn't go out and enjoy myself as I really wanted to, unlike my straight friends! I'm 29 now and I can honestly say everything's fine - everyone I'm close to knows about me, and that I'm happy, and that sense of honesty and openness is all that matters in the long run. I consider myself lucky as it's not easy for everyone, but the first step is TALKING ABOUT IT! Don't agonise over it, as soon as someone else knows you soon start putting things into perspective and realise it's not such a big deal. Furthermore, you can start to live your life properly, instead of hiding part of yourself away, and feel proud of who you are. If people don't like it, or you hear something that offends you - just tell yourself that life is too short to worry about other people's negative opinions!”
Posted by Rob on 1st Apr at 9:29PM (flag as inappropriate)
i came out 6 weeks, ago...no one knew i was bi before that, but id had a relationship with a guy at 13 around female partners...when i came out i told my mum first that i was going out with my boyfriend and she understood, and i told everyone else after...i havent had any sort of problems at the moment cause all my friends seemed to understand, even my best friend whom ive stayed round his house lots of times before and had to occaisional gay banter with. so i guess im lucky cause i havent had the grief but also feel that theres a few of my friends who are unwilling to accept me for me.”
Posted by Zac on 1st Apr at 9:26PM (flag as inappropriate)
im 19 year old girl and always have dated boys. Last summer I met a girl same age who made me feel alive. I completly fell in love with her. Iv always been open minded but never met a girl who i had had any feelings towards other than friendship. I waited about 8 months and then told parents. Dad i presume is fine with it however mum didnt take it well. You have to be strong and no your own mind...bisexual/gay . She still hasnt accepted it and I just pray she does, but at end of the day you cant live a lie, you owe it to yourself.”
Posted by Courteney on 1st Apr at 9:22PM (flag as inappropriate)
I came out as being gay to my family when I was 17 but all my friends knew as soon as I did. I've never tried to hide it from anybody but I must admit I have often worried what some people might think.
Being gay, bi or even straight does change a thing. It's about the person you are. As long as you know who you are and are happy with who you are, nothing else matters!”
Posted by Rob on 1st Apr at 9:22PM (flag as inappropriate)
I think you don't have to force yourself to tell any one they don't need to know your buisness.”
Posted by Richard on 1st Apr at 9:09PM (flag as inappropriate)
I'm 16 and i also have "came out". I was so worried about comming out to start off with, but it all happened really quickly and like the guy in the vidio everyone was really really great about it! My family was supportive and all my friends were extreamely helpful. It was such a weight of my shoulders that i realised shouldnt have been there! Im much happier being open with people, and they still love me for who i am. What i also love is how i wasnt then labeled as "gay mike", everyone has just exepted that thats an extra addition to original me and that my sexuality is only a portion of the whole person.”
Posted by Mike on 1st Apr at 9:09PM (flag as inappropriate)
I think it is harder to come out as gay or bisexual if you are a male. For some reason not many people think that it is that bad for a women.”
Posted by Francesca on 1st Apr at 9:07PM (flag as inappropriate)
i'm bisexual too and i decided to tell my friends first. and i was soo suprised that they didn't care because i thought that they would hate me for it. but they didn't!
and then my school found out, which sucked because everyone poked fun at me. but no-one cares now they just shout LESBIAN at me when i'm with my girlfriend”
Posted by [No first name supplied] on 1st Apr at 5:56PM (flag as inappropriate)
I'm 15 and I know I'm bisexual but it's really hard to come out and I don't know when or how I'll do it, people are just so lose-minded in my school, and I'm worried what my dad'll think”
Posted by Sean on 1st Apr at 5:25PM (flag as inappropriate)
People who are in the closet but older (ie. 17+) have nothing to worry about. To be homophobic in today's society is seen as unnacceptable and in most circles of friends, stigma would be attached to the homophobe, not the gay. People have their own problems and their own lives to concentrate on, none of my friends see me being gay as a big deal, and I can honestly say that as an individual I have not experienced anything homophobic. Although this might not seem that valid as I have only been out for nearly a year, it shows that you have nothing to worry about.”
Posted by Sid on 1st Apr at 3:57PM (flag as inappropriate)
I agree with him, it is very hard to come out with your sexuality if you aren't straight. When I told my friends that I was bisexual they accepted it. But the rest of my school called me a lesbian and sick and twisted. =|
But still, it's hard coming out. And to be honest I haven't come out to my family yet. o.o That's the next hurdle.”
Posted by Jade on 1st Apr at 12:08PM (flag as inappropriate)
I'm 17 and Bi but I know that if I came out I would be disowned by all my m8's. It's a scary thing to do and i want to so bad but then someone will say something and I'll just think I'm not ready again. Any advise?”
Posted by Rhys on 1st Apr at 10:56AM (flag as inappropriate)
im gay i have been all my life i know i have!
i just cant tell people
i feel i need to get a boyfriend and then tell my parents im with someone...
but i can't i try and get close to guys but their straight or...they will find out im gay and tell people?
i just wanna be myself!!”
Posted by jay on 1st Apr at 10:39AM (flag as inappropriate)
I had thoughts about being gay/bi when I had my first gay kiss as a dare, whilst drunk at my friends 16th birthday. Since then I have been in college for almost 2 years now and met lots of other "openly" gay/bi people I have become friends with. This has given me the oppertunity to be open minded and be able to kiss girls. I made my mind up about a year ago now, but have only just started to come out as bi. This is because after talking about my concerns to one of my best friends it turned out she felt the same. I'd fancied her for a while and so we talked and about three weeks ago, whilst we were out with friends, she kissed me. This was my first COMPLETLY sober gay kiss... I am now proud to tell friends she is my girlfriend. I'm just not sure if I want to tell my family yet as they still believe we are really close friends.”
Posted by Emma on 1st Apr at 8:46AM (flag as inappropriate)
it was odd for me coming out as i did it when i was 18 and i was drunk at a family party ,
i so wish that i came out when i was younger as some of the family are still coming to terms with it no!!
i am bi but quite recently i have been having the doubts of do women even intrest me at all now and its just become so frustrating
and dont know what to do about it :-(”
Posted by darren on 1st Apr at 1:36AM (flag as inappropriate)
Hi I have been having a bit of a problem witch i really need help on I am a 17 year old boy and have a girlfriend i have been having thoughts that i am gay but i dont feel attracted to men or boys in anyway and keep geting thoughts that i do bu these make me scared not happy i have been going out with my girlfriend for 3 years and just 1 night this thought came across and has made me really scared can any1 give me an answer is this just a fase that teenagers go throw i would really like if anyone could help thanks if any1 leaves a cooment”
Posted by john on 1st Apr at 1:22AM (flag as inappropriate)
hi my name is ashley. im 17 years old and have felt insecure about my sexuality since the age of 12. i used to think i was bi sexual but i now know that im gay. i have told all of my freinds that im gay now. but i still cant tell my parents. im affriad of telling them. i belive my mums sister belives im gay and i think my mum and dad both suspect im gay. but it jsut actually telling them that i hard. i hv tried 10 plus tims in the last 2 months but my parents change subject. i no you will say to tell them but i need to know how to tell them.
PLEASE HELP ME !!!!”
Posted by ashley on 1st Apr at 1:00AM (flag as inappropriate)
i came out as bi when i was 16 last year, although i perfer guys i like the odd girl. all my friends and my parents know and we'rnt to bothered about it which was gd. main problem was when i began having relationships. i started meeting talking to people online bout stuff and had a few online relationships tht dont tend to work out to well.
i decided to meet a guy tht i met on a chat site for gay guys. i took my best m8 to meet him the first time which i was happy bout and everyting turned out well. the second time i met up with him didnt go to well though we went for a drive in his van and stoped in a car park we started of by doing lil things like kissing etc. but then he started to take advantage of me for being smaller and weaker than him and he did things tht i wasnt willing to do. i told my dads gf about it partly cutting some details cause my dad would go mad if he knew bout it. its prob best to tell your parents bout meeting people so tht they know your ok etc.. just a word of warning to b careful if your meeting people from online make sure they have a webcam or get them to take personal photos doing something u ask of eg holding a sign with there name age etc..and its always best to take a freind or relative with u the first time and meet them in a public place.”
Posted by josh on 31st Mar at 10:48PM (flag as inappropriate)
some of my friends know that i am bi but i just laugh n say that i was joking i have fell out with my friends from my old school because i slept with 2 of them how do i come out to my friends properly??”
Posted by liam on 31st Mar at 10:26PM (flag as inappropriate)
hey guys (:
i knew i as gay since i was about 13.. i came out as a "bi-sexual" at 1st... just coz i didnt want all the agro, oh hes gay.. better watch him.
i came out to all my mates in science class in school, at 1st they didnt belive me.. they wew like omg serious!! i was like yes yes.
they were all fine with it.
the nxt day went to school as normal.. i could see every1 looking at me and whispering i could see somthing wasnt right... 24 hours i came out and already all the school knew.
i finally plucked up the courage to come out to my mam and dad... sat my mother down and told her.... she walked out in tears i ran out went to my sister's house, who actully found out on facebook lol.
its been nearly a year now, my mother is coming round to the terms, my dad, well what can i say, hes ashamed i think.
i have a wonderfuly boyfriend who ive been with for 6months he stil hasnt met my mam and dad, but in time.
good luck to you's people coming out. it be hard at 1st but i promise you it will get better. u may get teased but just go with the flow, say to them.. "better watch i dnt break into your hole" they soon shut there gobs.
x”
Posted by Alex on 31st Mar at 10:22PM (flag as inappropriate)
i am bi and a boy, i am 15 years old, i know this because i keep wanting to be with my m8, but then i love my friend who is a girl, i have loved this girl since yr3 and i have been experimental with other boys for the most of my life, i realy want to come out to my friend, but i don't know if i should trust him, i really need advise on how to tell my friend, also im not ready to come out to my annoyingly homophobic parents, but my life would be made so much easier if i had advise on how to tell my friend. Or even how to allow him to know but without telling him (start doing something at a sleepover, hope u no what i mean here)”
Posted by James on 31st Mar at 9:38PM (flag as inappropriate)
To James. on 12th Jan at 7:17PM
Ive been in the exact same situation as you for a year or so. One thing to realize is these people wont grow up. its up to you to either learn to ignore it (bad choice) or confront them, if they say gay boy etc say, yes.... problem?
it seems stupid at first because you expect them to have a cocky answer but 9/10 times, they wont be able to reply. makes them feel stupid and they wont bother again.
As a genuine thing these people tend to only do it as an outlet for theyre own insecurities so make them play up to that and they'll learn.
hope this helps you.”
Posted by Tom on 31st Mar at 9:29PM (flag as inappropriate)
umm... i was really anxious about telling my family that i was fully gay,,, i didnt know how to actually tell them even though all my friends and everyone else at school knew by the time i was 15. (now im 17). i ended up texting it to my mum begging her not to tell my dad because he is one of those people who thinks it kind of.... unnatural so i was obviously not wanting him to now.. he ended up finding out and he was okay with (well he says he is).
i am happy and proud to be gay but i personally think it is not normal because of some of the comments i get from people. i never usually take anything to heart but this i do. and this makes me feel bad about myself.
also.. a i am the only one in my school that is gay or has come out, i feel more of an outcast to everyone else”
Posted by Greg on 31st Mar at 9:29PM (flag as inappropriate)
i only came out bi once id had my first girlfriend, we got together during a half term when i was 15 (im now 17) and i then told a few of my closest friends, unfortunately one of them told a few people and it spread, but i guess the fact i waited meant that more people got to know me first and didnt judge me. they knew me for me.
as for my parents, well my girlfriends mum found out first and well, basically was going to phone my parents, as she thought it was wrong, so i had to ring my parents and just tell them
they dont approve im sure of it.
we dont talk about it
i think my mum is more understanding than my dad
they just ignore it, and well they dont ever see my girlfriend
so not the best way,
i feel the problem with telling people youre bi is that they think 'youre greedy'
coz you like girls and boys?
its just not like that, its something you just cant help.
its part of who you are.”
Posted by Rachel on 31st Mar at 9:19PM (flag as inappropriate)
I'm bisexual, and I've been with my boyfriend for a year. He's brilliant and I couldn't ask for more from him, but... he has a major issue with the fact that I've dated other girls, and the thought of me having sex with another girl "makes him feel physically disgusted". I only have to comment about how jealous I was of some girl's legs in the high street, and he freaks out. It gets me quite down and to be honest, makes me feel quite disgusted in myself, even though I don't think I'm actually doing anything wrong. He's had a traumatic experience involving him and a gay man, and this has given him a massive stereotype of all homosexual and bisexual people. I don't know what to do really... Any ideas????”
Posted by [No first name supplied] on 31st Mar at 9:16PM (flag as inappropriate)
How do you actually know what sex you are? I came out as bi to my best friend and then most of my mates and finally my parents, but about a month after that I figured I was gay cause I only felt attracted to guys. I told most people I was gay then. But now a few months later I am extremely confused as I find myself being attracted to a few girls but guys on a bigger scale.”
Posted by Sam on 31st Mar at 9:15PM (flag as inappropriate)
A no for a fact that am gay, but a don't no how to tell my parents. I don't want them reacting badley when a tell them”
Posted by Megan on 31st Mar at 9:10PM (flag as inappropriate)
im 13, i have a few bi friends and some gay friends too, everyone sees to think im bi mostly because of the people who i hang around with. im not sure if i am or not. i have a feeling i might be bi-curious. im confused.”
Posted by [No first name supplied] on 31st Mar at 9:06PM (flag as inappropriate)
Only a few people know that I'm Bi. I don't publicise it to everyone I know because Bisexuality isn't understood by people on a general level and has lots of negative stereotypes attatched to it. People find it easier to come to terms with whether someone is 'just' Straight, Gay or Lesbian and don't want/try to open their minds when it comes to the Bisexual 'label'. The worst thing I have to deal with as a Bisexual female is when men , if they somehow find out that I'm Bi, ask me silly questions like "is sex better with men or women"... or "how do woman have sex" and all those stupid and ignorant questions. They don't seem to understand that sexuality is about the emotional aspect of a relationship as well as the physical sex side as well. And so I have to tell some people that and that "YES" I can equally enjoy sex with woman as I can men. Sometimes more so, just because I fnd myself more emotionally in tune with woman than I do men. But yes, these are some of the stupid kind of things that I have to deal with when it comes to justifying my Bisexuality to others.”
Posted by Evelyn on 31st Mar at 7:51PM (flag as inappropriate)
right im 15 now and i have known that im a lesbian for around 2 years now and i told some of my close friends and they seemed fine with it but when i told the rest of the group they seemed abit more off with me. i have recently told my mum about my sexuality and scince i told her about 1 month ago she just cries and makes me feel as if i have done the wrong thing and i dont want to feel as if its a bad thing. and my mum later told my dad who has a massive homophobic problem and now treats me like im worthless, he doesnt speak to me and when he does its in the digusted tone and all he says is no. i have recently fallen in love with this girl but if she ever found out i was a lesbian i have a feeling she wont even talk to me any more
what can i do?
x”
Posted by rachel on 31st Mar at 7:40PM (flag as inappropriate)
He's very brave well done, I send him a hug!
I'm 19 and came out to close friends about being Bi they were ok about it, just surprised.
But comming out to my mum is diffrent I've tried but she shunts the idea away, well I hinted on the idea that I was at least maybe gay to my mum because I don't think my mum knows what bisexual means, but she told me oh I'm too young and I have my life ahead of me like as if I was giving my life to something, and my sister thinks it's really disgusting though I hav'nt really disgussed the whole idea much.
As well as that I've had a secret girlfriend on and off in the past, then a boyfriend for one month, none of which was worth while experiences.
So now I'm alone in the whole situation.
And I try to forget about it and get on with life and come off with the many excuses that I cannot have a relationship or show intrest because I'm too young, can't be bothered, hav'nt got the time etc, and it greatly annoys me when at family reunions comment on how pretty I am and have I got a boyfriend yet? I hate that people seem to assume too much.
So now I feel ashamed to even mention me having boyfriend let along girlfriend.
And because of the pressures around of because I'm 19 I should have a boyfriend and blah blah...
Sometimes I wish I could just get a life and get on with it.”
Posted by SJ on 31st Mar at 6:42PM (flag as inappropriate)
I dont really get the 'she's kidding herself, shes a lesbain in denial' response, i get the 'she just going through a phase' response. It really annoys me because it makes me feel like people dont take me seriously and when I think I should make more of a deal about it I then feel like people will think im doing it for attention!
I have always been attracted to women and men and finally I know why...im not greedy, just bisexual.”
Posted by sarah on 31st Mar at 6:07PM (flag as inappropriate)
hi, i have a bit of a problem , there was a new teacher who came to our school in september and she is a P.E teacher and i use to hate her till i relasied i was trying to hid from the fact that i fancied her !! it has been this way for about 6 months now and it realli starting to confuse me because when i used to see her i used to get butterflies and still do i am 15 and i am female and i dunno what to do as i have a BF as well am i gay ?????”
Posted by julie on 31st Mar at 3:22PM (flag as inappropriate)
I am Bisexual,only a few mates know. my very close friends, also my mum knows, however people at school don't know about me and i get comments like Gay, Queer and stuff like that! Should I just say yeah and what or shall i jst keept it to myself and how can i tell my dad about my sexuality ??? ”
Posted by Rob on 31st Mar at 2:55PM (flag as inappropriate)
Hi I'm 18 and I came out as being bi-sexual when i was 14.
At the time most of my friends knew this and seemed to be okay with it, and when i say friends these are people i had known since i was 5. So as i said they all seemed okay with the fact that i like men and women. When i was 15 i met my ex girlfriend, we went to an all girls school so coming out in that environment feels like social suicide :), my ex is a lesbian and has known this for quiet some time (like me) so when all of our friends found out that we were together it was a mixed reaction as they realised that this wasnt a joke. half of our friends thought it was fine and the other half fazed me out completely (nice) So i started to move with a different group of people most were at different schools so it was safer to be "out and about", when the rest of the people at my school found out (not through any fault of our own, we were very private and tried to move in different circles) there was a lot of trouble, there were fights, verbal abuse and assembleys. In the end me, my ex and two of our friends were called to meet the head of year. She then told us that our relationship was highly inappropriate and advised we split up. when we replied that we wouldnt because we were "in love" she replied with "if you love each other so much you would break up". All i can remeber thinking was HOW DARE YOU
So we continued for a year and in the end it was so pressurised that we decided to split. we still remain great mates.
I proudly were the bi-pride necklace and have since had two girlfriends and ocuntless boyfriends,being bi isnt a shameful thing and you dont need to be butch lol im very girlie, it was an experience i will never forget. So to you who are being bulled just ignore them or do what i did and explain why/what it means to be bi sexual and in the end they will understand, i realised that if i did this they respected me more and treated it like anyother relationship which was good. And yes you may lose friends but then at the end of the day if they cant accept you for who you are they arent worth having xx”
Posted by [No first name supplied] on 31st Mar at 12:55PM (flag as inappropriate)
to everyone who has posted on this web site, very well done. I wondered for years about sexuality. Until i meet my partner a few years ago. i felt like a freek for years because i couldnt admit to anything. I think you are all very brave. Anyone who tried to bully ot tease you, are so small minded. Always remember you are so much better than them, because you no you are. You have already came across a huge hurdle in your life. It took me to meet my partner, she is the love of my life and totally gets me. I wish you all the best with the future.”
Posted by [No first name supplied] on 31st Mar at 2:53AM (flag as inappropriate)
I was 13 when I decided I was bi I told my mates but when everyone in my school found out I deciede life would be easier if I just said it was phase.
I am 18 now but I still think I am bi but am scared of what pwople think of me because of how I was bullied in school.
What should I do?”
Posted by Paul on 31st Mar at 12:17AM (flag as inappropriate)
Im 13 and I think I'm bi I have feelings for both sexs but I wish their were more bi or gay guys in my year group (my best mate came out as being bi but that was just a lie) I really want to meet more bis but I feel like I'm trapped in a box, even tho I told a few of my best friends but one of them back~stapped me and it spread around my school getting to my brother who told my mum. Im really confussed in my box with a diff problem. Can anyone help me?”
Posted by Harvey on 30th Mar at 10:04PM (flag as inappropriate)
Im 13 and I think I'm bi I have feelings for both sexs but I wish their were more bi or gay guys in my year group (my best mate came out as being bi but that was just a lie) I really want to meet more bis but I feel like I'm trapped in a box, even tho I told a few of my best friends but one of them back~stapped me and it spread around my school getting to my brother who told my mum. Im really confussed in my box with a diff problem. Can anyone help me?”
Posted by Harvey on 30th Mar at 10:04PM (flag as inappropriate)
i'm 19 and i've recently came out to around 20 of my close friends that i'm bi and have a boyfriend, they are all ok with me which gave me the encouragement to tell my parents. so i did, and now they both act like they don't want to know me. i've tried speaking to them but they still don't want to know me. i'm just fed up now”
Posted by kyle on 30th Mar at 9:55PM (flag as inappropriate)
i knew i was gay when i was 14 but because of bulling at school i diddnt come out till i was 20 too a coulpe of freinds who were gay but i couldnt tell my family caz i thought they all would disown me but i started a new job when i was 23 and i got ased about my sexuality and i just came out and said YES i am gay if u have a problem with it well tuff just get over it so because my rellis come into the place i work i thought i had too come out too them i couldnt tell my mum or dad so i told a auntie who told me she new for years but it was up to me and not her too say anything. my mum was next she was just shocked and didnt belive me and she told my dad and a year later he still dosent belive it my 13 year old sister was hard to tell so again my mum told her and she is fine with it but my 12 year old brother dosnt know yet as because he has learning problems i think he just wouldnt understand and i just dont want him to get any bulling from the kids at school but i just feel better for telling people because when i hadnt i had to lead a double life and its just better now im not”
Posted by Lee on 30th Mar at 9:55PM (flag as inappropriate)
Hi, I'm 17, in L6 (year 12) at school and am bi. A few years ago when i was 14 or 15 (in year 10) i told my best friend via e-mail because i used to be very shy and couldn't face doing it in person. Very innocently and totally by accident, my friend read it aloud during break time at school. Fortunately i wansn't in the room and only my very close friends were. I was completely accepted and none of my friends treat me at all differently. I also told my boyfriend (who i'm still with) later that day and therefore all of his mates know, but luckily i'm still treated as the same Holly. Unfortunately, i really want to tell my parents and sisters because its been 3 years now, but i genuinely think my younger sister who is 15 is a homophobe and i don't think my parents will "understand" because i have a boyfriend and blah blah blah.
Anyone else told their friends but not their parents? Any advice would be greatly appreciated! Holly :) x”
Posted by Holly on 30th Mar at 9:43PM (flag as inappropriate)
I don't see why 'coming out' is seen as something which all gay, lesbian and bisexual people have to do. I am 14, bisexual and my mum found out, but chose not to discuss it with me. Straight people don't have to announce that they are straight, and I don't see any other sexuality as being any different. My friends found out just through conversation aswell, and I intend for it to be the same way for anyone else I talk to.”
Posted by [No first name supplied] on 30th Mar at 9:28PM (flag as inappropriate)
I am 15 and i knew i was gay when i was 12. For any one who wants to tell there parents, put it in a letter thats what i did. And i don't really get and greef in sch coz they all new i was anyways”
Posted by James on 30th Mar at 9:20PM (flag as inappropriate)
Hmm I can't really relate to people who are facing homophobia, name calling, or difficulty with family about being gay/bi.
Im 15 and gay and i've told everyone incl. my family and no one has a problem with it and we talk about openly and everything is as if I was straight.
I guess I was just lucky?”
Posted by Sam on 30th Mar at 9:16PM (flag as inappropriate)
im 16 and gay i told my family about a year ago all of my freinds know but i only told them because iv left scool im in year 11 and on extended study leve because i got so badly bullied by people thinking i was gay i couldnt get through one leson without somone craking a joke at my expence i wouldnt come out if i were still in scool as it would proberbly make thing worse”
Posted by connor on 30th Mar at 9:16PM (flag as inappropriate)
i remember when i came out, it wasn't hard for me i geuss. I felt like i was becoming someone else because i didnt tell someone, i almost felt like i was becoming evil or profoundly malicious. I did and still do find it quite hard to cope with the sniggering remarks you got from people, especially PEOPLE YOU DONT EVEN KNOW! I came out last year, and found a group which i go to weekly, its an amzing group which promotes equality and feeling good about yourself. However i didnt feel forced to come out, i felt a need to tell someone just to let my feelings out, i remember the look on my mums face she wasnt upset more like suprised, i cried, probably becaue i let everything out. However she then told my family and they kind of disagreed but have never really asked me which im not really bothered about. Besides you dont need to let everybody know your gay/bi/lesbian or transgender you simply have the descision to let who you care about know, and if they love you they wont judge you.”
Posted by [No first name supplied] on 30th Mar at 9:11PM (flag as inappropriate)
I'm really confused at the moment, i know i'm gay but i think i might be bi. I also haven't told anybody yet. I'm 16 and don't know when the best time is to tell my friends and family. What should i do??”
Posted by Joe on 30th Mar at 9:09PM (flag as inappropriate)
i remember when i came out, it wasn't hard for me i geuss. I felt like i was becoming someone else because i didnt tell someone, i almost felt like i was becoming evil or profoundly malicious. I did and still do find it quite hard to cope with the sniggering remarks you got from people, especially PEOPLE YOU DONT EVEN KNOW!I always knew i was gay but i never thought it made me someone different, until i compared myself to my brothers who were matcho and testostorone fueled. I came out last year, and found a group in Plymouth which i go to weekly, its an amzing group which promotes equality and feeling good about yourself. However i didnt feel forced to come out, i felt a need to tell someone just to let my feelings out, i remember the look on my mums face she wasnt upset more like suprised, i cried, probably becaue i let everything out. However she then told my family and they kind of disagreed but have never really asked me which im not really bothered about. Besides you dont need to let everybody know your gay/bi/lesbian or transgender you simply have the descision to let who you care about know, and if they love you they wont judge you.”
Posted by jordan on 30th Mar at 9:08PM (flag as inappropriate)
steve if you are postitive you no ur gay/bi then you should tell them friends / family and if your school is quite mature then tell them or go tell a teacher you close to”
Posted by [No first name supplied] on 5th Feb at 4:51PM (flag as inappropriate)
im 16 an i know im bi, so does one of my mates who i told because he told me he was gay. i want to tell people but im not sure if its better to wait till after high school when people are more grown up about it and i also dont know if people are just going to think that im just gay but tryin to be more accepted. i want to tell my family as well but my brother came out as gay a year or two ago and now i feel awkward because i dont know how they will respond to having 2 gay/bi brothers in the family. anyone agree/disagree on my views or have any suggestions?”
Posted by Steve on 3rd Feb at 7:29PM (flag as inappropriate)
how do you tell you parents
i mean yh i am bi
but in sum respects it is harder coming out as bi that gay
i am 14 and live in quite a big area a few of my mates now i am bi one of which i am goin out with but when it comes to tell your parents how do you tell them
i want to but i just cant
it is sooooo hard
i feel like shsouting it at the top of my voice but i cant
i feel like i am trapped in a box
i cant get out
and i cant shout for help
i just need to know how i do it
PLEASE HELP!!!!!!”
Posted by ed on 12th Jan at 8:23PM (flag as inappropriate)
Hi, Im 13 and Bi, I came out to my best friend whilst going to R.E, He was fine with it and everything, but i didn't notice a class mate behind us, now my whole year knows and im really getting agitated by all the questions and name calling -.-'.
I had had one BF and one GF and i'm quite happy to be honest, Just the name calling, any advice?”
Posted by James. on 12th Jan at 7:17PM (flag as inappropriate)
recently i told my friends i am bisexual however i haven't told my mum yet and think that if i did she'd just put it down to me being 13 and confused.”
Posted by beth on 22nd Dec at 12:23PM (flag as inappropriate)
I came out as bisexual when I was twelve. I always knew I liked girls. My family think I've grown out of it but the people who know better know the truth ;]”
Posted by [No first name supplied] on 27th Nov at 9:34PM (flag as inappropriate)
I am a 16 year old guy and i knew i was gay when i was 12. I told my family when I was 15 but they thought at first i was going through a phase. At school people still are close minded and are very nasty but i don't care. It is my life and i am proud of myself!”
Posted by Ryan on 23rd Nov at 1:15PM (flag as inappropriate)
i have always know that i was bi. i was really worried what my family would say. and way they found owt when i started seeing a girl for the first time well my family did not speek to me or anythink it was hurtfull. i was scard to come owt coz i didnt think it was normal i felt like a freek i still do to this day.”
Posted by gemma on 16th Nov at 7:18PM (flag as inappropriate)
I never had a sudden moment of realization i just thought that everyone fancied girls and boys were just there to have babies with. A few months after my 13th birthday i found myself a girlfriend :) but she said she couldnt be open. (i thought she wasnt allowed boyfriends either)Kinda silly I guess well I found out pretty swiftly aged 14 when people gave me weird looks everywhere i went then i went into my tutor and got a huge hug from one of my best mates and then se was like why didnt you tell me. i was serverly confused by this point and i asked one of my other mates and he said that pictures of me and my girl kissing were being passed around the school. I managed to keep it secret from my family (except my brother who goes to the school and i know all his secrets so he wont tell) My dad is going to get told next time i have a GF thats serious. (well as serious as relationships get at 15)”
Posted by Charlie on 9th Nov at 9:25AM (flag as inappropriate)
ok im bisexual and 14 i dont feel like i can trust anyone and get stressed when some one calls me gay when im not . because i think some one will tell every one and my family will find out the are a bit homophobic . any advice?”
Posted by josh on 8th Nov at 1:03AM (flag as inappropriate)
Well, me personally am straight, but my boyfriend came out to me the other day as being bisexual. I have no problem with this at all because he's told me he want's me and I belive him. I just find it hard because he never talks to me about it and that I now know that he is attracted to one of my male friends, this has made things quite awkward between us. Also because he's shy he hasn't told many people yet. Only a few close female friends (this is difficult too as I don't know them and therefore have no one to talk to it about) and if I'm honest I understand... I don't think his mates would take it too well. I don't know what to do and I hope he talks to me about it more soon. I feel distanced from him. ))=”
Posted by Becky on 7th Nov at 7:01PM (flag as inappropriate)
Ok, well all my friends and pretty much all of the school know that im Bi yet somehow i still manage to keep it from my family. Im 15 and have been bi for about a year now but i never want to tell my parents, they are the kind who seem to think it's just wrong. I'v had a boyfriend and part of the reason it didnt work out was because i couldnt risk my parents knowing. I just dont wont to face there reactions, im proud of what i am but my family would just abandon me...”
Posted by Ben on 6th Nov at 7:46PM (flag as inappropriate)
I was 13yrs old when i came out to my close friends that i was bi and they all was fine with it and respected me for coming out and even some of them said i new you was anyway.I was 16 when i had my first girlfriend, which was hard to start with i admit,then i realised i was lesbian.When i was 17 my mother came to me and said if your gay your gay,your still my little girl,i think she was proud that i was gay and she started to tell everyone,which i didnt like at first but now everyone nos im lesbian and i don't care who does no. Im 21yrs old now and i love being lesbian. Ive never really had any problems with it,friend and family didnt care i was and there the only people who matter. You no if you got a real friend if they don't think of you any different.Ive been quite lucky with coming out,I no other people who haven't but you shouldnt let other people get you down about it,you are who you are for a reason...”
Posted by Trudi on 4th Nov at 2:24AM (flag as inappropriate)
ok so im 13 and i no im bi but i dont know how to break it to my dad or my friends i think 1 of my friends nows i am but i dont want to tell her because i would be afraid on how she would treat me after. also im scared to tell my friends as the people i hang out with would probably spread it round school..xwhat should i do”
Posted by sarah on 2nd Nov at 6:09PM (flag as inappropriate)
I came out as bisexual around 15, my friends were really great with it (they kind of knew before me because me and the girl i fell for were really close and people thought we were together before we were)
My mum found out because of a misplaced love bite and just guessed who had given it me and was fine with it :)
(i think she thinks it was a teenage phase as me and my girlfriend have now split up but oh well)
I do think being bisexual is hard because you don't quite fit in with your straight or gay friends, even though they're all fine with it i don't think either can get their heads around being genuinely attracted to both sexes in equal measure...
xXx”
Posted by Becky on 2nd Nov at 2:19PM (flag as inappropriate)
im 17 and i know im bisxual i have been since i was 15 but i still having come out i dont know how to tell my friends and family or what to say or how to say it also i dont know any one were i live who is bisxual or lesbian i think im most worried about what my friends will think and how they well react if anyone could help be very thankfull”
Posted by april on 31st Oct at 2:22AM (flag as inappropriate)
At the end of year 9 (me being in year 11 now) I told 3 friends that I'm bi curious, one being bisexual herself and they seem all fine with it.
however, I feel that apart from my bisexual friend, they have distanced themselves from me. but I do kind of fancy my girl bisexual friend, and a boy who is really close to the other friends i told.
I have not come out to my parents, and probably won't until I get a girlfriend, as I feel they won't believe that I would think this way.
I am planning to come out to another really close friend, but i think that she'll treat me alot different afterwards. but i'm not really sure if i'm 100% bi yet because I haven't experienced anything in that nature with a girl... I'm confused..”
Posted by Z on 31st Oct at 2:03AM (flag as inappropriate)
i came out bout 4 months ago and i was really lucky that i told mi mates 1st.It turned out brill cuz all mi m8s are boys and they were actualy turned on when i sed i have a girl friend lol.MY mum was ashamed of me but i just sed u can love me 4 who i am or nat at all
aved turned 16 nw and cudnt be happier”
Posted by [No first name supplied] on 31st Oct at 12:24AM (flag as inappropriate)
I've been shure i was bi since i was about 13, i came out to all my friends at 14, and most of them were supportive, there's always the odd homophobe, but i just cant bring myself to come out to my family. What should i do?”
Posted by [No first name supplied] on 30th Oct at 2:32PM (flag as inappropriate)
Hey I'm 14 and I realised I was bi and people don't really understand how I can be so sure.. But I just can. I came out to my friends and then everyone in my school found out and call me names and stuff like that. But I don't care! Don't care what anyone else thinks! Be yourself!! I came out also to my mom first and she said that I should be whatever I wanted so I did.
Hope it helps xx”
Posted by [No first name supplied] on 29th Oct at 1:08AM (flag as inappropriate)
I'm sixteen, i have known for such a long time that i am bisexual. I told my friends and they were fine with it, but i think it's just because they were going through a phase were they were 'bi'. Now they've, all but one of them, made up their minds that they're straight, and i think they think i have too. I dont want to have to tell them again because for some stupid reason im ashamed. I dont know if i'm ashamed as such or just unsure of how people will react to me, people have said to me the bisexuals are greedy, or just in denial but i really do feel attracted to both sexes.
And i think my parents think i'm gay, so to say i was bisexual would be letting them know they were 'sort of' right.
that scares me.
I'm so confused!”
Posted by Jess on 28th Oct at 1:40PM (flag as inappropriate)
i came out as gay when i was 14 my dad would not talk to mr for three years i am 17 now and me and my dad are talking again”
Posted by michael on 28th Oct at 8:06AM (flag as inappropriate)
Hi i'm 16 and i've been wondering for about 6 years now whether i'm bi because i've just not been sure. I think I am definately sure now, but it was hard to make up my mind as I don't know any lesbian or bi girls... I haven't told any one yet, I'm too scared of the way they will react! I know I like guys and I was only sure I liked girls when I started to fancy one. I really want to tell my friends but I don't know how. I only really want to tell my best friend because with some other friends, even though they would say they don't care I have seen them be homophobic in the past and I don't want them to think differently to me. But it's not like that, they are like sisters I would never feel that way towards them. But I know they would think differently when I hugged them and stuff and I don't want them to. I don't know whether I should come out or not? Or just carry on going with guys as I don't know any gay girls anyway. I just think it would be a relief if there was someone I could talk to about it as I need to kinda let out how I feel. What do you think?”
Posted by Rachel on 27th Oct at 12:31PM (flag as inappropriate)
I'm sixteen, and I'm bisexual. I've not come out officially, people just know really, but if people ask, I tell them the truth. If the topic comes up with someone who doesn't know, I'm honest. Because I don't have a girlfriend, the topic doesn't need to come up a lot. I told my mum when I was 12/13 that I was bi, and she informed me that it was 'just a phase' and that I needed 'experiences' before I'd know properly, and that I had my whole life ahead of me and no need for labels. However, I am bi. And now that I have experienced both males and females, I think by her theory I now 'know', as if I didn't before. I could never tell my Dad; I once said "She's so pretty!" about someone and he frowned at me and said he was concerned. So unless I get into a serious relationship with a girl, I'm never going to bring it up with him.”
Posted by Holly on 26th Oct at 3:29PM (flag as inappropriate)
hey guys just came out as bi yesterday to my best friend who also told me that he was gay (even tho ive known for a few weeks XD) and then started to 'experiment' with each other then today is when i really came out to other people in my school its best to first tell some people over msn txt etc... with a question like whats ur sexuality and then read their answer bfore telling them dont mess around just come out with itand then get them to tell another person who is likely to keep it secret if that's what u want and then its best if u take it from there but im not gonna tell my parents yet mayb in a few years when im really comfortable about it all and being 15 they already think im gay so ill leave it there for a while unless they ever sat me down to talk bout it”
Posted by ashley on 22nd Oct at 6:46PM (flag as inappropriate)
hi, im bi, i came out officially last week. my friends are ok with it although its still a little bit weird. but know this really horrible girl at my school knows and shes told this guy and hes threatening to tell the whole school. im not ashamed of what i am, i just prefer it if not everyone knew. its making me nervous and scared about going into school.
Wat should i do??
xx”
Posted by freya on 22nd Oct at 11:47AM (flag as inappropriate)
I'm 15 and I'm bisexual, I haven't come out yet (to anyone). But I know :)
I don't know whether I should come out, any advice?
It's not really my "biggest" secret, there's a bigger one :o”
Posted by Sam on 20th Oct at 6:05PM (flag as inappropriate)
im 16 and came out as a lesbian to my family and friends, glad to know that some of my friends were going through the same as me but im also extremely lucky that i have a close relationship with my parents, they are both fine with it and dont treat my girlfriends any differently. But my ex girlfriends mum didnt appreciate her daughter turning out this way so she made our life hell... i think that if you are bi.. tell your parents as it will make you feel better getting it off you chest but to also be strong enough to deal with them not accepting.
break it down to follow your heart no matter what any one says :)”
Posted by Amy on 19th Oct at 8:49PM (flag as inappropriate)
im 16 and im bisexual.. my first relationship with a girl was when i was 15 even though i liked girls way before that.. anyway i found out she was bi when she also had a relationship with my auntie who was 17 at the time.. recently i have come out to close frenz and my auntie and i wudnt like to know how my family like my mom dad and brothers and sistera would deal with it”
Posted by natalie on 19th Oct at 12:57PM (flag as inappropriate)
Im 14 and abit XD and i only just came out liek litrally its saturday today and i came out on friday. now i dunno why but i came out to my english teacher i just went up to her at the start of class and asked her if i could speak to her at the end of the lesson she could tell something was wrong and she was liek omg erm ok so the end of the lesson came (just for if she is reading this it was a very nice lesson) i had already told my friend during our swimming lesson at and she agreed to stay wif me so we all sat down and i just kinda blurted it all out (along with alot of other things XD)she was totally understanding it turned out her uncle was gay she agreed to get me some support numbas for me to call as i couldnt go on the internet to find them as my mum always checks my history (she is wayyy to protecitve) anywayy i dunno y i decied to tell her but i fink i decied to tell her a few lessons before this when she was talking very openly about sex infront of 30 14-15year olds and i was liek wow i have so much respect for this women and also she is very friendly :P the weird thing is ive only known her for a few weeks and i already trust her enought its weird but i still dont know/want to tell my parents and only afew of my friends know”
Posted by laura on 18th Oct at 3:32PM (flag as inappropriate)
im 16 and i came out as bi to my best friend nt so lng ago! I didnt no wat to expect frm her as wed never really talked about stuff lyk this before, but she was very understanding and supportive of me. So far she is the only person that i have told i am bi, although alot of my friends are constantly asking me whether im gay or not, and at the moment, i ignore them or deny it. But for now, im very happy with her being the only one who knows! Im jst finally glad to be able 2 openly talk about it with someone who i no i can trust! Im hoping that il eventually pluck up enough courage to tell the rest of my friends,soon, and eventually, ideally, i wud like to tell my family aswell, but for now i think telling them would make things 2 awkward between us, so im going to wait until im a little older. Its nt that im ashamed of who i am, i wud jst rather nt have 2 have such awkwardness surrounding me and the ppl i care about the most.”
Posted by Tom on 16th Oct at 10:36PM (flag as inappropriate)
Im 15 and came out as bi about a year an 1/2 ago most of my friends are very understanding and have stuck by me but there is a few people that do take the piss outta me which i just ignore and think well yea screw you lol but the only people i haven't told are my parents and i don't think i can because they are really really homophobic and im kinda stuck i don't know what to do?! plus the fact im into guys more then girls it's just certain girls that get me thinking ooft shes hot if you know what i mean.”
Posted by Curtis on 16th Oct at 8:07PM (flag as inappropriate)
well, i came out as bi when i was in year 9.
all my friends had a really good reaction to it, as did my parents when my sister told them (i wasnt happy about that). now im in college, no-one knows, and im kinda glad, but at the same time, ive told one of my best friends that i am bi, due to the fact her brother is going through it, and i told her as a means to let him know, i know what he is going through and i can talk if he needs to.
i want to tell my other best friend, and i was going to untill he started talking about how gay and bi people should be shot. this has put me in an awkward position, because i feel he needs to knwo this, especially when he's saying things like that.
Im in no way asjhamed of who/what i am, and i just hope he wont be either.”
Posted by Billy on 16th Oct at 2:30PM (flag as inappropriate)
im 16 and im bisexual and i have this way for about 2 years. I think for i while i was being indenial about it and didnt want to accept the fact that i was. I have told most of my friends that i am, and most of them understand and are really supportive. I told my parents that i'm bi and they took it worse than i thought they would, my dad is convinced its just a phase and my mum thinks im going to turn fully lesbian. Neither of them will talk to me about it though, and they choose to talk to my older sister and i dont think its fair, but I'm happily in a relationship with a girl. I supose i have to let my parents get used to the idea i like girls aswell as boys.”
Posted by Charlotte on 16th Oct at 1:55PM (flag as inappropriate)
im 16 and im bisexual. I think for i while i was being indenial about it and didnt want to accept the fact that i was. I have told most of my friends that i am, and most of them understand and are really supportive. I told my parents that i'm bi and they took it worse than i thought they would. I'm happily in a relationship with my girlfriend. I supose i have to let my parents get used to the idea i like girls aswell as boys.”
Posted by Charlotte on 16th Oct at 1:48PM (flag as inappropriate)
hi i am bi wat is the best way to tell my perants”
Posted by craig on 16th Oct at 6:49AM (flag as inappropriate)
im a 19yr old female, and i am bi, i dont go round broadcasting it but i dont in any way hide it, all of my friends no i am bi and i am in a serious relationship with a boy he knows and doesnt mind me flirting and messing around with girls he accepts me for who i am.”
Posted by emma on 16th Oct at 12:19AM (flag as inappropriate)
I tried to come out as Bisexual to my parents after getting with my ex girlfriend. We had been together for 2 months so I knew for definate then. I knew from about the age of 8 maybe 10 that I was Bisexual due to being attracted to two perticular females in a film. I was 16 when I told my parents and to this very day they deny that fact that I am. I am physically attracted to both sexs. My mum shouted at me that there was no such thing as bisexual and that your either straight or gay. I walked out after being told that and after a while we sat down and spoke about it. To this very day my parents do not believe that I am Bisexual and they would throw up if they knew what I had done. My partner doesn't mind it, Being male, and I will never raise the subject with my parents again. I am 19 and I cant tell my parents about this??? Crazy hu?”
Posted by Kris on 15th Oct at 10:42PM (flag as inappropriate)
When i first came out as bi, earlier this year, it was amazing =] I have gay and straight friends, so there's always been someone around to talk to about it. I always get the "You're greedy..." or..."You can't make up your mind" comments.. So now I just say, "I'm bi... yeah.. the greedy one." It usually makes people smile, and gets rid of the tension =]
Oh, and i too generally, love men and women equally.
Best wishes to everyone who is planning on coming out, and well done to everyone that has already. xxxxx”
Posted by [No first name supplied] on 15th Oct at 7:18PM (flag as inappropriate)
Im 15 and bisexual, i'd known i was bi for a few yrs now after fancying a few girls id met and after a lot of encouragement from some m8s i managed to ask one of them out, she sed yes and we went out for 2 months ive been out with other girls and boys since then. My parents dont know but to be honest i dont think they need to right now, its more the case of telling them when i feel the times right, no pressure. I have had some stick about it at school after a few ppl found out but as it turns out it didnt have to be a big deal, when people started to ask about it i addmited it right away and acted like it wasnt a big deal, wich i guess its not cuz after all ur still you and people shud except that.”
Posted by Verity on 15th Oct at 6:45PM (flag as inappropriate)
Hello, well im fourteen, and i came out as bisexual to my family and friends at 13 1/2 everyone supported me and didnt really mind, most people acctully respected me & most of the guys in my school treat me as normall. There are a small minority of student who will rip into me but as all the teachers in my school are aware of me being bisexual the support me.
Iv always known i wasnt straight as i always looked at guys in a different way but im happy as i am. I think my mum has had to get use to the fact but doesnt talk to me about anything id rather talk to my friends about how i fell, but things like wearing ' guyliner ' & campness makes my mum uncoumphy i think as she criticizes my hair & way of dressing, but i do belive that she still does love me. I do find being bisexual really hard, as i have a squeeky voice and i think girls dont really like it and all my mates are in relationships and i feel like the odd one out, i dont come across many bisexual or gay teens that much and i wouldent like to tell my mum about any relationships that i have.”
Posted by Ashley on 15th Oct at 6:02PM (flag as inappropriate)
i'm currently fast approaching 21... but i first came out to my two closeset female frineds when i was 14 - saying that i was 'open minded' and liked the look of some guys. my friends replied with - they too were open minded. i came out to everyone else (except family) when i was 15/16 my thoughts and feelings had changed slightly, and i felt more 'urges' towards other men rather than any women. i remember getting all my friends together at lunch and just blurting it out... most of my friends were supportive and even the odd one or two came round after a few days of thought...
when i came out to my family (aged 17)i believed that because i had such a great, supportive group of friends it would be a breeze to sit down, chat and get on with the life i had started to live. most of my family seemed not to care, they secretly knew and just needed the confirmation. however, things between myself and my gran were a different story(i lived with my gran- not my parents). she went up the wall - couldn't understand why i was gay and refussed to talk to me for almost 3 months... we had odd arguments, i wasn't allowed friends round nor to go out on saturday nights to town, which caused even more arguments between us...
finally about 6 months later i decided that i should move out if i were to have a happy life at 'home'. it was this move that made my gran think of her actions and after a few more months she came to visit and apologised. it gave her the time to realise that what i did in bed doesn't affect my personality nor hopes and dreams. i was still the same grandson she had started to miss.
a few years down the line and i am in a happy relationship 'with my grans blessing'. i honestly think that coming out is different for everyone, sometimes it can be bad... but i also learnt that there is a light at the end of the tunnel if you don't ask for acceptance, just acknowledement.”
Posted by Dale on 15th Oct at 3:10PM (flag as inappropriate)
im 16 and bisexual i dnt dare come out and tell people cuz i dnt want my girl mates to think of me in a different way. xx”
Posted by sophie on 15th Oct at 1:30PM (flag as inappropriate)
im 15 and after having an experience with another bisexual mate of mine I realised i was bi but havent said anything because i know it would get back to my family and my mums like really homophobic. i wanna tell people because im not the type to just pretend im something im not but im really close to my mum and i dont want her to look at my differently. any ways of getting round this?”
Posted by [No first name supplied] on 15th Oct at 12:04PM (flag as inappropriate)
If you are worried about being bullied at school then my answere is do not come out at school, i had a terrible school life because of my sexuality i was gay not buysexaul but i dont think it make's any diffrence, and people can keep secret's, trust me on this one.”
Posted by Simon on 15th Oct at 5:05AM (flag as inappropriate)
I went to a school where coming out was an unwise thing to do (or so it seemed at the time), and between the ages of 13 and 16 I struggled to understand my sexuality. I feared I would be bullied even more than I was at the time.
When I realised I might actually prefer guys I was scared, and it took until I was 18 to fully accept my feelings.
I'm a really shy person and it was at university where I had my first full-on sexual experiences - first with a girl, then with a guy.
I then realised I was gay, rather than bi, and this really confused me. I became depressed because I no longer knew who I really was, and because I didn't feel I could tell anyone (not even my best friends).
About a year ago, when I was 19, I eventually plucked up the courage to tell my friends, and they were really supportive (althought they didn't really have any idea!). Now all my friends know and there is no problem at all - it was a huge weight off my shoulders, and I really should have come out sooner.
I told my parents 2 months ago and, despite my mind running wild and convincing myself they would hate me, it actually went really well :) My parents were really understanding and supportive.
Wow - this is a really long comment. Thanks for reading :)”
Posted by Pete on 15th Oct at 1:39AM (flag as inappropriate)
I came out when I was 45, though I knew I was gay all my life. I was married and have 2 children. Everyone has been very supportive and I wish I got the courage earlier in my life. I am now 49 and very happy, looking forward being myself for the rest of my life!”
Posted by Laurence on 14th Oct at 9:08PM (flag as inappropriate)
i found it very hard to come out, but i found that having friends was a great help, i have three brother and all my cousins are male so i was scared how they would react, but i found that everyone(even those who had spoken badly about someone being gay before) were really understanding. my life has been a thousand times better since i came out, dont be afriad, but NEVER be presured to come out, do it when you feel comfortable. i have a boyfriend now and life just seems to be getting better. xx”
Posted by Daniel on 14th Oct at 8:58PM (flag as inappropriate)
Yeah i know the feeling, you dunno what you are and everyone says "Youre gay" when youre not, its really annoying, youre pressed to be one or the other but you cant choose between them. I understand this so well!”
Posted by Joe on 14th Oct at 8:39PM (flag as inappropriate)
hey im 20 an bi ive known i was bi since i was atleast 13 or 14 when i became sexually awear particully of other guys i kept it a secret and no one even had a suspision i was bi, in feb this year i meet my partner i never thought i would find some one like him and this gave me the courage to come out to my friends and family, at first my mum was a little upset and confused at the term "Bi" but after a few days she was fine and our relationship is as great as ever, my dad was fine with it which was weird at first becuase i would have said he would be the most vocal opositon to my sexuality, my sister had no problems with it. my brothers are litle indifferant about it but if they cant except me fine i havent changed just my label has. my relationship is still going strong and we will soon be moving in together i am now open about who i am if someone asks ill tell them im bi and life has never been better. heres some advie that helped me come out only do it when your ready but dont leave it to long if people would rather not know you because your label has changed then they really arent your friends and never ever be afriad of who you are because not matter your label your still a person, and remeber dont let nothing stop you enjoying life tis the only one we got... Proberbly live it and love it
hope this helps someone because i can remember looking for advice on the net to reassure me that i was the only person feeling the way i was
best of luck to every one and hope life treats you well x”
Posted by darryl on 14th Oct at 8:34PM (flag as inappropriate)
I'm bisexual, with a preference to girls. I have come out to a lot of my friends, and find it really easy to tell people that are complete strangers rather than the people who are close. I have even wrote on my facebook page that i'm bisexual so i dont have to go through telling everyone. The only people yet to discover are my parents. I think they have guessed, as they ask me frequently if i'm gay. I just reply with 'i dont know' because i can never actually pluck up the courage to say i'm attracted to girls. Reading these comments has made me more comfortable about it, and i think i'm ready to tell them. :)”
Posted by Stacey on 14th Oct at 8:30PM (flag as inappropriate)
i think ime bi . i dont no how to tell my freinds and family. with your dreinds you dont no wether you willl get bulllied and with family you dont want it to come between you !!! :)x”
Posted by paula on 14th Oct at 8:25PM (flag as inappropriate)
I Came Out As Bi In may Last Year, I'm 13 And Only 3 Of My Friends Actually Understand, The Others Just Abandoned Me, Now Most Boys Just Think I Like Like Them And Not Just Like Them As Friends, This Caused Me To Get Really Upset And Depressed, My Parents Noticed This And Want Me To Move School, But They Won't Let Me Until I Give Them A Valid Reason (That I'm Bi And No-One Wants Me Around Anymore) But I Don't Want To Tell Them... ”
Posted by Josh on 14th Oct at 8:22PM (flag as inappropriate)
Thb its always hard coming out in to the world and letting them know that ur sexuallity isnt "NORMAL" as i have been told. i am 18 years old and i have known since i was like 12 that i like girls rather then boys, and i didnt tell anyone til last year because leting people know i was bisexual, and know a year on am so comfortible with telling people about my sexuality and my person experiences, but theres always one thing i hate when boys find out i'm bi is that they always always try and make me make out with sum random girl, its soo annoying! .”
Posted by Helen on 14th Oct at 8:13PM (flag as inappropriate)
im 14 and bisexual and i think its time i told my mum because i have know a while now, she is under the impression that i am gay but and she wants me to be, would anyone know how i could tell her in a simple way, thank you.”
Posted by ricky on 14th Oct at 8:10PM (flag as inappropriate)
I'm 16, and all of my friends know I'm bisexual. It isn't a big deal at all now, as everyone just accepted it. However, I haven't told my parents, I think they might freak. But there's no need to do that because I'm in a serious relationship with a male just now. I guess I'll tell them when they need to know.”
Posted by [No first name supplied] on 14th Oct at 8:02PM (flag as inappropriate)
i am 16 now yay me but i don't know what i could label myself as anyway i am sexually attracted to men but also i feel a more loving relationship to women, what i mean i want sex with men but a relationship with women does anyone else have the same predicament?”
Posted by adam on 14th Oct at 8:00PM (flag as inappropriate)
realising i was gay was the hardest part, it took me around 3 maybe 4 years to find out, but coming out was pretty difficult too, im 17 years old but i came out when i was 15 and it wasnt by choice, i had told one of my friendsbut no one else, and he just spread it around school but because i was fed up of keeping it a secret i didnt deny it, for weeks maybe months i had people coming up to me asking i was gay to make sure and i did get some verbal abuse but thanks to my other friends i got through it and am now in a relationship with some one and i feel free to tell the world. telling my parents was the most difficult part though, i went out with my friends one night and left them a note to read while i was gone, and when i got home that night we all talked about it, they said i was too young to decide but if i was then they wouldnt mind as im still their son
and since i came out i feel so much better and confident in myself”
Posted by sam on 14th Oct at 7:55PM (flag as inappropriate)
Totally agree with what he says...still very little information around about bisexuality.”
Posted by [No first name supplied] on 14th Oct at 7:53PM (flag as inappropriate)
hi im 24 and gay , i came out 4 yrs a go at the age of 20. i had come out to my friends and people in college before this but only to my family then. i told both my parents but my mam was in total shock, she couldnt believe it. she was very good she called the gay switch board and talk to some one there and once she wraped her head around it there hasnt been any problems, my dad and i dont talk about it much. he mite joke about "any men on the scene " but other then that we are just as we were before”
Posted by paul on 14th Oct at 7:41PM (flag as inappropriate)
Hi.:)
i want to come out bi, but if i came out, it would get arround the whole school, and i am scard that i might get bullyed, because my school is such a ruff school.”
Posted by Joe on 13th Oct at 11:20PM (flag as inappropriate)
I'm 15 and recently came out as bi but I worry that I'm only saying it becasue there was this rumour going aroud that I was gay and I've got it into my head I'm bi.
After that I stared thinking "hey maybe I do look at some girls that way" but I still like lads so I thought I might be bi.
I'm just scared that the first time I'm with a girl it won't feel right and I am in fact straight. I've come out to so many people already it wouldn't be easy to just say "oh, I was mistaken-I'm straight really!"”
Posted by Sarah on 12th Oct at 4:06PM (flag as inappropriate)
I came out as Bi to my close friends in the summer and once back at school people stared asking if I was bi or not. I thought it would be harder to tell people but it wasn't at all. There are some people who are quite biphobic towards me or say I'm just gay and in denial but they don't bother me.
I can't imagine coming out to my parents yet even though most people in my school know. I hate to think about there reaction and I don't want it to become something that is contastly there between us.
I guess it's harder coming out to family than friends because they've been there all of your life and kind of EXPECT you to be straight.”
Posted by Lucy on 12th Oct at 3:47PM (flag as inappropriate)
hey i am 15 and bi, i came out to my friends when i was 13 and most of them were fine about it. i moved school tho and when i started to tell them most of the boys seemed really against it but its starting to become ok and people arent being so meen about it :) i also told my mum and she was all ok about it :) xx”
Posted by Toby on 11th Oct at 4:24PM (flag as inappropriate)
im 16, i came out to a few of my best mates when i was 14, i knew i was bi from the age of 13.
by the end of year10 (when i was 15) everyone in my year knew, and alot of them took the mikey out of me, but i just laughed it off, as i had my good friends to talk to, just recently i was in a relationship with a girl and she was cool about it, we use to discuss guys who we liked lol, and around a month ago me, my ex and my brother (who is 21) were out shopping and i came out to him, he was cool about it as he si also bi as i found out on the same day.
ive tryed telling my mum nad stepdad but they say its just a phase, well 3 years is a realy long phase, they have said they dont care if im gay, or straight, but say their is no such thing as bi, its just that pople who say their bi are either greedy or confusedso i have given up on trying to talk to them about it.
also my stepdad said if i do get a male parnter im not alowed to have him round to the house to sleep over, as he "wont have stuff like that going on under his roof", my mum had no comment about this.
all i can say to people who want to come out, do it, have a laugh, yeah people will be a bit auquward for a bit, but by the time i left school everyone was cool about it and we all had a laugh and a joke about it.
have fun everyone
x”
Posted by grant on 11th Oct at 2:22PM (flag as inappropriate)
As a teenage bisexual, I find this message inspirational. x”
Posted by Terry on 10th Oct at 11:47PM (flag as inappropriate)
i am 14 and i have told some of my friends i am bisexual and i just what to shout out to the world i am bisexual.i am feed up people calling me gay which i am not i just bisexual. so should i tell all or not.”
Posted by kieran on 10th Oct at 9:33PM (flag as inappropriate)
my mum was actually the first person i told!! I was about 15... she was upset to begin with and did the whole 'im not gunna have grandchildern from my only daughter'ect haha but has now definatly got over it... and i belive loves my girlfriend more than i do... then i told my older but close friends who i already knew who where gay.. who told pretty much everyone else haha saying that i eventually came out!! 3years on and its not a matter of tellin ppl im gay but telling them im not straight- although thats pretty obvious”
Posted by Kerry on 10th Oct at 4:45PM (flag as inappropriate)
hey guys and gals, i think im bi i just dont know how to tell my parents. alot of you sed "i got the usual questions" but i dont know what the questions are. please tell me so i can prepare. thanks xxx”
Posted by [No first name supplied] on 10th Oct at 4:40PM (flag as inappropriate)
I am 16 now, and I don't think being a bisexual is that big a deal anymore. It is a term that is thrown around alot these days, especially with emos. But recetnly on my school outing I kissed another boy in truth or dare, and everyone found out in 2 seconds and most people were OK with it. The chav boys weren't, obviously, but everyone else seems to love me now. It's great. All my teachers know too but they try to act like they don't know, but they're ok with it too. So I suppose that was a good experience for me. If anyone gives me hassle I just go into detail of my same sex relations, It's funny to watch them squirm :)”
Posted by [No first name supplied] on 9th Oct at 7:55PM (flag as inappropriate)
Even though the average age for coming out is 14. I didn't come out as bi till the end of year 11. The person i told was my best friend matt. I'm glad i did because i felt loads better. I've told my mum who said not to tell everyone because i might not be bi. I'm shore i am because these feelings since i was 12. I'm now 16. 17 in one month. I feel great that people know how i feel. I've nearly finished my first term of college, and so far i've told all my new friends i'm bi. It was actually easy because 1 of them is bi.”
Posted by Paul on 8th Oct at 10:53PM (flag as inappropriate)
well im 15 and i have just finaly told evryone i am gay i told everyone when i was 13 but everyone said it was a fase but i never really liked girls in that way but now i feel better my mum is still diniying it but my dad dont care ive got to say it was easy but now everything i do get bought up about me being gay like things i wear and things i say its really anoying and ive been bullied since year 3 at school so i sorta got use to it so the name calling aint that bad heard it all befor but my tutor at school we talk about everything and she is really nice about it she is a lezbian so she knows wot it is like”
Posted by joseph on 8th Oct at 10:16PM (flag as inappropriate)
I know what you mean. I'm bisexual and have had a boyfriend for 11 months now. People ask me why i have a boyfriend if i'm bisexual, they seem to forget that I like both sexes, they immediedetly focus on the same sex issue. When I first came out, I was questioned a lot at school. I don't think people were trying to be rude, I just don't think they understood, so I think we definatly need more information.”
Posted by H on 8th Oct at 9:33PM (flag as inappropriate)
Im 19 now, only told my mum and stepdad a month after my 18th i was gay or bi. I think its harder to say your bi, and i do believe that you cant be 100% bi, there may be one you like more than the other, so its just easier to say im gay. not looking forward to telling my dad, but my mum and stepdad were awesome about it, i try not to make a big deal out of it when telling people, just if they ask, i say!!!”
Posted by david on 8th Oct at 5:05PM (flag as inappropriate)
Im 13 and my life is in a wreck and it's all because of my sexuality, im bi and I decided it would be a good idea to tell my friends first before i told my parents but when i told my friends only a slight percentage still liked me. they were so freaked out that i liked guys as well as girls they all thought i was coming on to them. my life is a mess im depressed and i still don't know how to tell my parents, please help.”
Posted by [No first name supplied] on 8th Oct at 5:53AM (flag as inappropriate)
I've known i was Bi for years and im about to turn 17 next week. I have told one of my best friends and he is fine with it as he has already come out as gay and i told several other good friends while they were drunk and now none remember but i don't fear coming out to them again as they reacted well before. However one friend of mine is, well, let's say slightly homophobic, he doesn't hate gays and bis but he dislikes the subject and is grossed out by anything related to them so i don't look forward to coming out to him. Also my Dad and brother are very traditional men, very sporty and butch and while i am not effeminate at all, except for my skill in quisine and sometimes im sure my posture gives it away but my mum should be fine with it having gay friends. I have had one experience with the same sex at a party one night and i came out to a friend as Bi and he came out as bi also and we ended up sleeping together. I think when i come out it wont be too bad as i already have a gay friend who is fully out and a gay friend who is partially out and 3 bi friends who have all come out to me and a few others. I have taken an approach where i wont deny it if i am asked but unfortunately nobody asks if you are bi =[ they only ask if you are gay but tomorrow when i go to school i am coming out to some friends and i feel quite confident they wont be too critical =]”
Posted by Richard on 7th Oct at 9:28PM (flag as inappropriate)
hiya im 15 (16 in november) iv only just told 4 off my realy close friends that im bi even tho iv new 4 years i only managed 2 tell 2 oof the because there bi as well. but i just dont no how to tell the rest of my friends about it.i just feal like they wont treat me the same way as wot they do now. i havent told my mum and dad yet and my mum keeps asking me if i have a boyfriend or if there are any boys i like but i just dont now how to tell her. could some 1 give me some advice on how i can tell them please thanks xx”
Posted by jade on 7th Oct at 9:07PM (flag as inappropriate)
Im 16 years old and i am Bi i have told my clostst friends wich have been so supportave about it which is great, ive recently started college but havnt told anyone incause they change their opinion on me.
the most difficult part is that my parents seem very homophobic which is horrible and my younger brother has also began to slag gay and bi sexual males
it would be nice if someone could help me what should i do? thank you xxxx”
Posted by Ryan on 7th Oct at 9:06PM (flag as inappropriate)
I came out last year at the age of 15, but I only told my friends at school. My whole year knew by the end of the week, but around a week later everyone was cool about it. I still get asked things, although the questions are awkward, it's not people being hurtful; more so wanting to know you more, I suppose maybe to know how to be around you. I get some idiots who think it's amusing to "flirt" with me and ask deliberately difficult questions, but having friends around; that helps. The most annoying question that I get asked all the time is: "Are you still gay?" as if I was just messing around. My parents don't know, but luckily there are three other gay people in my (extended) family and the family doesn't mind at all! When people say "oh it's just a phase" it is stupid, as I had feelings towards other guys since year 8 (13yrs old) and I'm now 16 and in year 11... that's a very long phase if you ask me.
When coming out, do it at school first to get used to it, but make sure you know that you have friends that will support you and treat you the same way as before and will defend you from those hurtful comments that some idiots find funny...”
Posted by Lewis on 7th Oct at 9:06PM (flag as inappropriate)
It is very difficult to "come out" as bisexual because most people don't understand it and think that you are really just gay but in denial. Often it is the case that gay people will say they are bisexual before eventually admitting they are gay (Elton John is a good example. I think that this is partly to blame for people misunderstanding bisexuality. I am Bisexual, I have had relationships with males and females and I am very comfortable with my sexuality, however I do find I have to constantly explain my position, particularly when I meet new people. My point is, that if you can say "I'm bisexual" you are saying you are attracted to members of both sex, which means you are sort of "half gay" and therefore you do the same things when you have a partner of the same sex as a gay couple would. When you have a partner of the oposite sex you do the same things a straight couple would. So if you are telling people you are Bisexual, you are not covering up the fact you are gay, because "gay sex" is a part of being bisexual and people know that, so if you were gay, you could just say "I'm gay" you would not be more gay, just less straight! I hope that made some scense, it does to me. Much love x”
Posted by Joe on 7th Oct at 9:03PM (flag as inappropriate)
When i came out as bi my friends accepted it straight away but my school mates bullied me for nearly 2 years I noe dismiss sexuality and believe in emotion more that anything as it makes life easier todeal with as people alwasy say bisexuals are greedy, but its hard because they clealy have no idea what they're talking about.”
Posted by Amber on 7th Oct at 8:42PM (flag as inappropriate)
I am 16 atm and backwards by the looks of it reading many other stories here. im bi for definite and my parets know, my sisters/bro in laws but not grandparents. Its strange bcus only 22 people in my year know and both are gay, whereas practically the whole of the year below knows/beleives that im bi. They dont tend 2 taunt me but being honest thats partly bcus ill allways stick up 4 myself and not take any *. im not tlking about physical violence btw only verbal. i was 15 when i came out 2 my rents ad everything and that was only cus i was reli wasted (drunk) and my sis walked in on me and my cousins m8 (guy lol) at my mum's 40th lol :/. all i can say to people is if ur struggling 2 come out to ur parents then i just wouldt. don't let it tear u up if u have any doubts about telling them i spose ur not ready, thats my opinion anyway. And make sure you do stick up for yourself! xx”
Posted by Rick on 7th Oct at 8:15PM (flag as inappropriate)
Well i am 17, I came out to all my friends when i was 15 and they were totally supportive about me being bi. I only told them i was bi because i wasn't totally sure if i was gay or not. Anyway's one day my mum caught me with a nude male picture on my comp and started yelling at me so i told her i was bi. She didn't talk to me for around a week and still denies that i was bi. Now two years later i have found out that i am gay and i don't know what to do. If i tell her she will most probably kick me out of the house, but if i don't then it is going to eat me up inside! i need help!
xxx”
Posted by [No first name supplied] on 7th Oct at 8:09PM (flag as inappropriate)
I've had the attraction to both boys and girls now for almost 3 years (17 now). I have VERY VERY good friends who i can entrust with anything. But I still cannot bring myself to tell them of my sexuality. I've no idea of what to say or if they feel its them i may have an attraction to. My parents... Well.. My Dad is a very open person who is very easy to talk to, goes out clubbing ALOT and has a few Gay, Bi, lesbian mates. But im still not sure of how i should come out. Any Idea's :D?”
Posted by Daniel on 7th Oct at 8:08PM (flag as inappropriate)
I told my friends that im bi sexual and now (im 14) half the school hates me and abuses me in some way. I've tried to tell my parents but i freeze up and cant say.”
Posted by Naomi on 7th Oct at 8:07PM (flag as inappropriate)
I understand on what you're saying. I'm bisexual myself, and coming out was very hard. My parents was just shocked but didn't have a problem with it. Unlike most people in school. My friends was okay about it. But everybody just seems to have a problem with it, and to be honest.. a year later and i'm still getting horrible comments and questions brought upon me. But slowly but surly more people are beginning to understand.”
Posted by Laura on 7th Oct at 8:05PM (flag as inappropriate)
When I came out, I told my friends first just to get used to it before I told my Parents. My friends were really supportive and they love having a gay friend. My female friends love having a gay friend as we have so much in common, and also the boys are supportive and want to know all about the gay community and how we function. Personally, I think it's the best thing I have done so far in my life.”
Posted by [No first name supplied] on 5th Oct at 11:04PM (flag as inappropriate)
Hey :) I'm Really STruggling... its just i have no idea how to tell my mum that i'm Bi.. if anyone can help me at all i would really aprecialte it :)
ta loves xx”
Posted by [No first name supplied] on 5th Oct at 7:17PM (flag as inappropriate)
I have only just come out as bi. I told my friend first then, told nearly all my friends. Then i told my mum and she said "oh don't tell everyone your just confused" but, deep down i know i'm not confused i actually am because, i've had feelings for both sex's since year 8. And jut because i haven't actually kissed a boy doesn't mean i'm not. I'm still finding it hard telling my dad because, he's my dad. I think i might tell him when i've actually kissed a boy. All my friends are cool with this. Mainly because a few are gay or bi. Or have a friend who is gay or bi.”
Posted by Paul on 3rd Oct at 8:11PM (flag as inappropriate)
im a 13 year old female . and im bisexual , i told one of my best friends i woz bi quite a while back and she freaked out and were not friends anymore . but another girl , my best friend , woz straight away fine with it , and i woz so happy she was. recently , over that past 4 weeks , me and my best friend had a sleepover , and we kinda , snogged , and i liked it , and 2 weeks later we had another sleepover . and again , we snogged ! . and this time it woz so much better . I LOVED IT ! it woz really good and sexul too . we were all over eachother . :)”
Posted by ERM. on 3rd Oct at 7:00PM (flag as inappropriate)
i never really had to deal with this whole coming out palava. I have always been gay, and I have always known that I was gay, and so have most other people.
When I was 14, I was out for a meal with my parents, when my mother said "Misha, you are gay, aren't you?"
then they said they had been suspecting it since I was 7. so that was my sort of coming out :D”
Posted by Misha on 2nd Oct at 7:16AM (flag as inappropriate)
im 13 14 in november and now im not straight ive told my parents and they were ok with it. i've only told one of my friends but we've sort of fell out i know im not straight but i dont realy want to come out yet because im afraid of the reactions of my friends.”
Posted by richard on 1st Oct at 8:39PM (flag as inappropriate)
I finally came clean to my best friend today. She was fine with it. Still not sure how to tell my parents. Any tips?”
Posted by Alex on 1st Oct at 5:30PM (flag as inappropriate)
i came out as bi when i was 14. because i'd had problems with my friends before i thought they'd hate me but everyone was really supportive. i've had two boyfriends since and neither of them minded. all my guy mates think it's great. quite a lot of guys have the fantasy of two girls together apparently.”
Posted by [No first name supplied] on 30th Sep at 9:14PM (flag as inappropriate)
I am 14, I have come clean to only one of my friends about my sexuality. She thinks it's amazing that I'm bi. But I daren't tell my parents as everyone in my family are homphobic. It's reall hurtful when they insult gay people. I hope one day I pluck up enough courage to tell them! :)”
Posted by Alex on 30th Sep at 9:14PM (flag as inappropriate)
Im 17 (18 in feb) and gay...i had my first gay experience as it were at the age of 14...i came out to my friends at about 16 i think...and now...EVERBODY (except my family) knows about...i know my parents are going to find out eventually but i just cant bring myself to tell them...i know my mum wont mind but im not sure how my dad will react...i have promised my best mate that i will tell at least my mum before my 18th birthday (5 mnts =S) I really want to tell her but can bring myself to do it...
Thank You”
Posted by Greg on 30th Sep at 9:12PM (flag as inappropriate)
My parents found out i was gay when they came home early and saw me and my boyfriend kissing i sat them down and talked about it (i'm 14 btw) and my mother was ok about it but my father disowned me and i haven't spoken to him for months the whole process is very horrible after i told them my mother told somone else and before long i had no friends and earned myself horrible nicknames (which i won't post) but it was the usual homophobic comments and it was sheer hell but now most people understand i'm the same person they knew before but they just know a little more about me but i know that some people will never come to except me but that's somthing i have to live with.”
Posted by Pete on 30th Sep at 9:11PM (flag as inappropriate)
My boyfriend is a bisexual and i used to ask him questions about it and not quite understand how people can enjoy having a sexual experiance with someone the same sex until one night i was out camping with a few friends - one of them being a lesbian and i don't know what came over me but eventually i just came on to her and we were kissing for most of the night and it felt great, of course i had to tell my boyfriend about it and at first he was upset because i cheated on him but i explained how it was just an experiment although i do now beleive i am bisexual myself but he forgave me and i won't do it again for aslong as we are together but if something was to happen i would love to have a girlfriend.”
Posted by Kayleigh on 30th Sep at 9:00PM (flag as inappropriate)
I acknowledged the fact I'm bisexual about 2 years ago, I'm 15 now and I've come out to all my friends and I recentley came out to my sister and they was all fine about it :)”
Posted by David on 30th Sep at 8:55PM (flag as inappropriate)
I told my parents at 16, went out to Big Gay Out the same day and kinda just took myself away from the whole awkwardness for the day and had fun with people who I knew accepted me, that night when I got home I did have a lecture on it being a phase, and I did have the awkward questions. But about 3 months ago my day actually sat down with me and told me he understood. It took almost 4 years, but at 20 I've finally been accepted by the people who I live with and wanted to understand me the most.”
Posted by Josh on 30th Sep at 8:47PM (flag as inappropriate)
i am 27 and have told all my friends and family other than my parents that i am bisexual in the last few months, although i have known since i was maybe 10 that i wasnt straight. i thought i was gay but if i got a boyfriend that would fix it! needless to say that didnt work! it was so much easier than i expected to tell people. im not sure about telling my parents though but i think if i started seeing someone i would be happy to tell them although it would def be easier to tell my mum than my dad. it was actually my brother in law who said my bebo page looked "a bit gay" - that was how my sister guessed - haha. i am happy to say i am bisexual now, but i dont feel pressured to be in a relationship - when it happens it happens!”
Posted by claire on 30th Sep at 8:45PM (flag as inappropriate)
I am 14, I have come clean to only one of my friends about my sexuality. She thinks it's amazing that I'm bi. But I daren't tell my parents as everyone in my family are homphobic. It's reall hurtful when they insult gay people. I hope one day I pluck up enough courage to tell them! :)”
Posted by Alex on 30th Sep at 8:28PM (flag as inappropriate)
i came out around the age of 14, my dad doesn't talk about it much, he didn't even say anything when i came out. i was under the impression that my mum would understand, she went mental. The questions persisted for a few days but she gradually grew to accept it. It's slowly spreading around the family now, they're all fine. Of course, having your whole year knowing you're gay and taunting you is intimidating, but it really isn't that bad. I'm just gonna say that coming out is the best thing you could do. Keeping it to myself pushed me to self harm. Don't be scared! P.S; I'm 16 now.”
Posted by Ross on 30th Sep at 8:24PM (flag as inappropriate)
It was very hard when I came out at the age of 14. I was totaly confused and had mixed emotions and feelings. I'm now 17 and feel great. I'm happy and people have learn't to accept me for who I am. I went through a rough time at school, getting bullied beacuse of my sexuality, it was only until my last year that people got on well with me and understood what I was going through. I told my mum at 14 and she just thought i was confused and too young to decide, although later on she accepted that i was gay. I feel I can talk better to a women so I knew I would'nt have a problem in telling my mum. She was so cool and supportive. Listened and frequently asked questions. Eventually she told my dad, to this day he is still not quite sure or understanding. I tend not to mention anything about my sexuality infront of him because I know it would make him feel on edge. At then end of the day you are who you are. I't does'nt matter if your gay/bi or straight. As longs as your happy and content. Stand up to bullies and dont let people put you down.
(Please excuse my spelling, im tired..)”
Posted by Tyler on 30th Sep at 8:19PM (flag as inappropriate)
i had the same problem”
Posted by gaz on 30th Sep at 7:10PM (flag as inappropriate)
I told my mum and dad I was gay at the of 18 just before my 19th birthday, it was so hard and upsetting in a way. My mum and dad was very upset and sad, they did not understand what I was saying, they were saying your not gay, your going though a phase and they were just denying it. I came out to my mates at college and they were like yeah i know, we all knew from the the start. Now my sister and cousins know, all of my friends from uni and my best mates, they think its great. But I know deep down I need to sit with my mum and dad againa, just tell them Iam gay and Iam happy. It very hard for anyone it come out to the people that are close to you.”
Posted by James on 30th Sep at 6:28PM (flag as inappropriate)
i think bisexuality is fine in men and women and that it makes the sex great. i told my friends and family i was bisexual when i was young and after a while they understood and they came to accept it i think you should tell you friends and family as they should come to accept it.”
Posted by david on 30th Sep at 12:34PM (flag as inappropriate)
i had quite a toublesome time cuming out as bi my mates all had an idea but they never actually confronted me and then wen i actually told them they were like er i dnt want to be ur mate now we are all friends again. still dont know how to tell my mum and dad”
Posted by [No first name supplied] on 27th Sep at 6:11PM (flag as inappropriate)
i have very recently come out as a bi to a few of my friends and the first time has almost ruined our friendship and i cant talk to her anymore because she gets awqward and if any1 says anything about a fit boy when were in a group i know shes thinking about me being bi. The second person i told has been very supportive and has helped me alot with the problems iv been having with the first person aswell =D”
Posted by john on 26th Sep at 5:29PM (flag as inappropriate)
I have recently came out, as bisexual to all my friends and family. And i didn't find it hard at all, as most of my friends are gay or bisexual. When it came down to telling mum , i wasnt scared at all as i knew that she would love me still the same. I felt after tell my mum that i am bisexual we have a stronger bond, and i can now go to her with any thing. Im glad i told people as i can move on with my life without feeling under presser to tell people im bisexual.”
Posted by Nina on 25th Sep at 12:59PM (flag as inappropriate)
I started telling people that I was bisexual when I was 21, am 22 now. It took a great deal of courage and I even had to be drunk to tell the first few people. I told my brother and sister first and they were great with it. I then told my two best friends said they were fine with it but then slowly stopped getting in touch and I rarely hear from them now.
It was difficult at first and like the video said there is a moment of dread just before you say it, but afterwards you feel better that the truth is out. I am actually gay but I used the term bisexual to soften the blow a little.”
Posted by [No first name supplied] on 24th Sep at 9:13PM (flag as inappropriate)
This is a subject which needs to be discussed on the show talk to 14 year olds about there views on the subject.”
Posted by Jordan on 24th Sep at 7:48PM (flag as inappropriate)
I knew when I was 15. Acted on it when I was 16. It just felt right. Best way to know for sure is to experiment and enjoy your sexuality. Now I'm in my 40s in a committed relationship with a woman.”
Posted by Debbie on 23rd Sep at 8:52PM (flag as inappropriate)
This isn't really a question or a comment but there is nowhere to ask about coming out. Is it easier telling your friends or your parents and if so which should you tell first? Also i'm only 14 and i most of my friends are girls because i don't really like sports so i'm not sure wheather it's a phase as they talk about boys alot or wheather i am acctually gay. How do you know for sure?”
Posted by Robert on 23rd Sep at 8:29PM (flag as inappropriate)
I was 16 when i came out i found it really hard. How ever i found it easy to tell my mum because i felt that i could speak to a woman better. But when i told my Dad he did not like it and he said i dont want to know you any more. It really hurt me.”
Posted by Darren on 23rd Sep at 8:07PM (flag as inappropriate)
I'm 14 and have recently came out as bisexual to my friends. It was hard because whilst I was trying to figure out and understand myself I also had a boyfriend. He was the second person I told and he found it very hard to deal with at first because he thought it was to do with him. We're still dating and he understands it's part of who I am. I won't tell my family unless I bring a girlfriend home, only my older brother knows and he was fine with it as his girlfriend is bisexual too. My friends told me that they'd always known and were just waiting for me to say something I'm happy that I've come out and it's really lifted a weight on my shoulders :)”
Posted by Jess on 23rd Sep at 8:04PM (flag as inappropriate)
I am bisexual && I first realised it when i was playing a dare game and i got dare to make out with a friend....And i really really liked it[[at that time i was about 9-10]].
A couple of weeks later me and my friend were almost dating. We'd end up kissing (with tongues) in muh bedroom & doing sexual stuff e.g touching,climbingon top of each other...things like that
But she moved & i carried on with life I only told ppl i was bi when i was 13..they didnt mind
It went surprisingly well...I just havent told my family...becuz i know they'll dis-own me
Hate me even....
My boyfriend knows im bi....at first he didnt like it....but hes cool with it now =] ”
Posted by Bec on 23rd Sep at 8:00PM (flag as inappropriate)
I knew I was gay around the age of 8 or 9 yo, had my first hardon at 11yo with another boy in a public park while sitting on the grass.
Being gay was never an issue for me as I'm happy, content & comfortable with my sexuality from day 1 and as such felt I never needed to "come out'to anybody, straights don't so why should gays and bisexuals feel they have too? people can choose to like me as I'am or not, choice is theirs, it's a private matter after all, no ones elses business including familys.
My advice to everybody is:
Be yourself, be true (honest) to yourself, be proud of you and hold your head up high and stuff anybody who can't (won't) take you for who you really are. Once your comfortable being you, then people around you will be comfortable in your company.
Sexuali ty is just one part of your life.
If your bisexual and have a relationship with an partner of either sex and you have sexual feelings for the oppersite (and act on it) you should be honest to your partner and tell em, so you both can discuss it in a adult way.
Hope thats of help. ”
Posted by Brian on 23rd Sep at 7:04PM (flag as inappropriate)
I realised i was Bi about a year ago but i didnt actually tell anyone untill about 7 months ago i came out to my best friend and the out to all of them, they all took it really well which was a relief and apparentally thay already had an idea that i was anyway... they make jokes that they knew befor i did.
I havnt told my parents becasue i know that they will be dissapointed in me. I havnt told my brother which is somthing that really upsets me because i am so used to just talking to him about everything, i really wish i could tell him but i know he will take it badly.”
Posted by Kate on 20th Sep at 4:35PM (flag as inappropriate)
Thats true with me i admited to being bisexual and i am just 14 now alot of people call me gay wen i like both not just one gender.”
Posted by Elliot on 19th Sep at 11:11PM (flag as inappropriate)
i am 14 and am gay i have only been out for about 3 months but it is only my friends who know and god i wudnt come out to my parents i wud poo myself but i thought why wait i know wat i am and proud and wat made it better is 1 ov my best mates cae out to and we are no going out i feel it will work and we made our class mates laugh when we told them we were goin out cause we walked in holdingg hands and everyone just stared it might seem wierd at first but u soon get used to it and now i have dun it more and more people i know are cuming out”
Posted by ed on 19th Sep at 6:36PM (flag as inappropriate)
I haven't told my parents that i'm bisexual, my siblings know however, they found out this year, they seem to be fine with it as my sister is also bi, my brother does however threaten to tell my parents though...
Most of my friends know aswell they've known for about 2years, even though iv known iv been bisexual for a couple years, I think, being in a all girls school made it harder, also the fact people use to call me gay anyway just made me denie it more.
I'm really scared as to what my parents will say, i mean, they're strict enough already, but as far as they know, iv only kissed people!
I don't think ill tell them til I move out to be honest!”
Posted by Hazel on 17th Sep at 9:50PM (flag as inappropriate)
well I'm 16 at the moment going to turn 17 soon and i come out to my friends last summer when i was 15. my friends had never been hung up about being gay as 2 of my good friends were gay and 1 was going out with a friend in our year. i just doing think i was personally ready to coming out, but when i decided to go out with a girl that went to our school i thought it was time to tell my friends. at first my best friend didn't know how to react and shut me out but now she accepts me for who i am and is sorry for how she reacted =]. my parents still don't know because i can actually expect 1/2 my family to disown me, but that on them really. I'm happy now and I'm going out with one of the best girls in the world (for 6 months now), so i can say I'm proud of who i am =]”
Posted by [No first name supplied] on 17th Sep at 6:23PM (flag as inappropriate)
I told my best friend and she was fine with it, about three weeks later I told two of my other good friends (both guys) and they were completely fine about it. About 5 months later I had left that school and moved onto college and met a really kind, cute, sweet guy that I love to bits. At college people dont really care if you're gay, Its great. :D”
Posted by [No first name supplied] on 17th Sep at 5:37PM (flag as inappropriate)
i didn't really have a "coming out" as it were. i think in my heart of hearts i've always known i wasn't one or the other, i hate putting people into boxes and for me my sexuality is just one part of who i am. it doesn't define me as a person but it is an important part of my identity. i will tell people if it crops up in convosation "yes i am bisexual" i'm not ashamed to be either, but i don't go out of my way to make a big song and dance about it. but that's just me and my way of dealing with a situation which makes others uncomfortable. as a result i haven't told my family yet... one day i will. but when i'm ready to tell them and i feel they are ready to comprehend what "bisexual" really means. hell i don't even really know yet! all i know is whether i've told you, or i haven't told you... i'm still me.”
Posted by Anthony on 17th Sep at 10:26AM (flag as inappropriate)
Hi i'm Holly i'm fourtenn,I still haven't told my parents yet but about three or four friends know about me being bi, i sort of just sat them down and went "i don't know how you will react nor do i care but i am bi-sexual" after that i found out two if my close friends where also bisexual so its a win win situation really! i should really tell my parents though as they will find out soon enough!”
Posted by Holly on 16th Sep at 11:44PM (flag as inappropriate)
I told one of my best friends that i was bisexual when i was 14 (i know that apparently it's too young to know, but tbh, i found it very obv. i wasnt straight) during a sleepover. She took it really well being bi herself. unfortunately (i didnt know this at the time) my mum was listening in to our conversation, hoping to find out some dirt on me. Over time i told the rest of my friends, and within a few days my whole class knew, a week later and most of the year knew. it really didnt bother me.
more recently my dad's fiancetook me and two of my friends (one bi and the other gay) into town. they were talking and taking the mick outta each other, so she said to him 'shut up you gay' his comeback was' you cant talk you bi' then she said (very tactfully of course) ' you cant just say that to me' lmao.
so she went and told my dad
my mum then told me about a month later that she had known i was bi right from the beginning, which is actually a relief as it means i didnt have to come out to her
:]”
Posted by Nona on 16th Sep at 8:23PM (flag as inappropriate)
Im 15 and have told my close friends that im bi. They all understand. Havent told family or anyone else yet tho. Im scared. :S”
Posted by [No first name supplied] on 16th Sep at 8:09PM (flag as inappropriate)
i came out wen i about 16 i came oout at school first but then i had to txt it to my mum and tell her i was bisexual and she refuses to believe it”
Posted by [No first name supplied] on 16th Sep at 8:07PM (flag as inappropriate)
i came out when i was 16 because i my dad ask me if i was gay lol! he said 2 me are u still going 2 the gay clubs in glasgow and i said yes and that was it nothing come about it he just said if ur happy then we are so i was ok in coming out i think”
Posted by charles on 16th Sep at 7:44PM (flag as inappropriate)
Coming out was the best but hardest thing i've ever done and my only regret was waiting until I was 25 to do it. It would have been easier and made my life so much better had I done it 10 years earlier instead of living a secret life. Everyone, my friends and family, have been totally cool about it - not one bad or dodgy response. I went on a 'Coming out campaign' which lasted 6 months in total and I am so relieved that it is finally over and I can live my life openly.”
Posted by Christopher on 10th Sep at 9:49PM (flag as inappropriate)
I'm bi, and all of my friends know about it, i have a lot of friends who are bi/gay/lesbians, and i hate it when people just can't accept it. i think the fact i read on this page ("In the UK over 8% of men and almost 10% of women have had a sexual experience with a partner of the same sex.") is wrong, about 80% of my friends have had a same-sex experienece, but maybe we're all just very open and a little bit gay inside? :)”
Posted by stacey on 10th Sep at 9:06PM (flag as inappropriate)
I was 15, I live in a very small area and it was hard. I was very confused as I knew about people being gay but not about being bisexual so I didn’t understand it. I went through a period between about 11 and 14 of just going with me and let any guys feel me up as much as possible because I didn’t want to be outed as I was more scared of being bullied for being gay by everyone then being bullied for being a slut by just the girls. Then a friend died and it hit me I decided not to hide anymore but then a group of girls came out and well people didn’t like it to much and my best friend said some things what she use to say scared me so I decided to not come out but if anyone ask I wouldn’t lie. After some time I fell for a boy and lost my virginity with him. After we broke up I Eventually told my three best friends they where fine with it. There was just my parents but in the back of my mind I didn’t know how to as there was a stupid incident when we where in a car park and two girls where kissing and my mum yelled at them which made me nervous about coming out to my parents. But one day I was watching TV with my mum and she just asked me are you gay so casual and relaxed it knocked me for six. I told her I was bisexual and how I didn’t tell her because of the time in the car park she said she only yelled as she hadn’t explained different sexualities to me and my brother yet. Which was nice as my mum knows everything about me and I didn’t like keeping things from her I think she has told my dad. My cousin asked and I told him and a few of my other relatives. Most people know now apart from my great aunt she is my grandmother in many ways. I won’t be telling her I would of like to, she likes bisexuals are dirty and veil she doesn’t mind gay people but she hates bisexuals as she is dying as a family we have decided to keep it from her but its hard some times I have a girlfriend and I want her to know and meet her but she has meet a few of my boyfriend before so knows I’m straight*in a way*. My one major disappointment though is my elder brother he holds the same ideas as my great aunt and it can be very upsetting some times as we where once very close.”
Posted by [No first name supplied] on 10th Sep at 8:02PM (flag as inappropriate)
i'm 13 and recently came out as bisexual. i know thats quite young but, i know i am so why wait? i didn't make a massive deal, but i kind of agreed with some of my lad friends that i thought a girl was fit and came out to them. of course it was all around school within a few days. my best friend took it quite well, but i think she was a little creeped out. obviously some idiots hate me and spread fake rumours, but i feel very happy with who i am. however, not planning on telling my mum. =S”
Posted by faye on 10th Sep at 3:48PM (flag as inappropriate)
I told my friends when I was 13, it might be quite young but I knew for a fact I was gay, even from a young age. Like I used to dress up in fairy outfits (embarrassing times to look back on) and hanging round with only girls. I told my two best friends first that I was bisexual, and said that to everyone because its easier to say, and boys don’t feel as awkward round you when they know you like girls still a bit as well. Anyway when I told them they were very supportive and I feel like with all the girls I have told are now much closer to me as every girl wants that gay friend. And I can talk to them about boys and gossip and they will love me more for it. I still haven’t told any of my family. Its defiantly easy to tell girls ( I had no problem with that ), boys will take the mick so that’s a bit harder, But families… sooo hard! I suspect my sister has heard things round school, and its really obvious that my parents think Im gay, they’re just waiting for me to come out. Some people still come up to me and ask if I am gay, but I will only tell them if they are on their own and not in a group as its really embarrassing. Quite a lot of people know now, and quite a lot have just guessed and expect it from me sometime. But when I tell my sister as she is still at my school, I will let a lot more people know that I am gay, and proud of it =D”
Posted by Sam on 10th Sep at 12:44PM (flag as inappropriate)
i came out to my friends when i was 16. it was amazing for me, it meant i was no longer living under a pretense of who i was.and mmost of my friends were supporive and some said they already knew :D
however, when it came to telling my parents, it was sooo much harder. they still dont fully understand or appreciate it all and its been over a year. i doubt i could ever bring a guy home to meet them...
they still try to have arguments with me about it. i am glad i'm going to uni, it will give them more space to think it over.
i did get abuse through school, but i put a stop to that, being able to come up with acid 'come backs' is a great trick to learn. i used to practice them in the mirror at home in case someone shouted stuff at me that day.”
Posted by J.D on 10th Sep at 7:16AM (flag as inappropriate)
I Came Out To My Best Friend When I Was 14 I Think As Ive Known Her For For About 10Years I Thaught She Would Of Takne It Well But I Was Wrong She Stopped Speaking To Me For About A Month But I Wasnt Bovered We Talk Again & Shes Fully Accepted Me & My Boyfriend Later On That Year I Told More Friends Who Were More Understanding But Were Shocked Because In Theyre Eyes I Wasnt That Camp ( Come On I Wear Foundation & Loved Britney Spears Lol )..Another Year Past & Only People Outside Of School Knew So I Decided To Tell My BestFriend In School Who In The Past Was A Partner She Was Taken Aback But "It Didnt Change Anything" Than I Plucked Up The Courage To Tell More People So I Did Not Knowing That I Was Going To Be Outed In School Eventually Everyone Found Out I Got Abuse Shouted At Me From Acroos The Lunch-hall But Never To My Face Surprisingly 6 Months Down The Line & Everyone's Kool About It Including My Two Older Brother's ( Still Aint Told The Parents Im Going To Wait Till Im Abit Older )”
Posted by John on 9th Sep at 10:48PM (flag as inappropriate)