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I'm Scared of Anal Sex

Everyone gets anxious about losing their virginity. Dr Rachael Jones speaks to a gay virgin who’s scared of having anal sex for the first time.

Your Experiences

  • I am a gay male that didn't like the thought of anal sex. I had a few sexual partners and didn't feel overly pressured to have anal sex. Over time I became used to the idea but I personally find it's something that happens when you're in a committed relationship. We have couple friends and anal sex isn't a part of their relationship. Different strokes for different folks. It's all an individual thing and why communication in relationships is so vital.

    Posted by Ben on 18 June 2012

  • I've had anal sex many times with a string of other male partners. I talk about freely as I do not think the being homosexual or having anal sex is something to be ashamed of. I talk to my parents and friends about it and I'm intersted to know whether other homosexual people feel confident talking to their family about being gay. I am proud to love other men and I feel so happy when I am in their company. I also have never tried having sex with a woman, the thought disgusts me.

    Posted by William on 28 February 2012

  • Im a girl and my boyfriend wants to try anal with me sometimes- I often dont let him even poke me- partly it might be as I know he would then try to penetrate me vaginally. Something I dont want him to do , not completly sure why. But he's also very open with not just me his whole household so Id quite likely hear something as he talks to his brothers about toys something else to try and lube. I like being open and I let him know when Im embrassed and maybe a bit angry- but i brush it off mostly and then he talks about something alse. One of his younger brothers- my age - already thinks we're kinky. This is not a nice idea as I want to experiment with him just not there yet- i think. But I dnt always let it stop me. Atmost I tell him to buck up his ideas once in a while- when it means somewhere other than the bedroom, or if someone walks in on us.

    Posted by steph on 24 October 2011

  • I am a gay male who did not become sexually active till I was 40 years of age. I had a girl friend in my early 20s. Our relationship was great until the time we had sex and I fled. I didn't have sex for 18 years whilst I worked out my sexual identity. Having sex with a woman just didn't feel correct for me, whereas sex with other guys came perfectly naturally, once I eventually tried it. However. I have tried anal sex maybe 4 times in my life and twice that was giving, not receiving. I have had some great experiences and as another person said here, not having anal sex was virtually never a problem. Usually it was about intimacy and just spending time with another person. For some guys, it is all about penetration, but I would not spend time with a person like that. For me it's about relationship or at least experiencing deeper conection with a person, not just about sexual release. I may be a bit different than other gay guys, but it's not always about getting your rocks off. For me, the spiritual side is most important.

    Posted by Robert on 01 September 2011

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