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Question

im 16 and a virgin but the thing that worries me most about sex is having to show somebody my body - any tips on how to be more comfortable with it?

becki on 06 October 2008 35 Comments

Popular Responses

  • oh sweetheart. Im 16, just like you, and i lost my virginity this summer with someone who ive had feelings for for a very long time but it wasnt love, he didnt love me, he just wanted sex. I promise you, if you wait for someone who loves you and cares about you it will be so much better for you - i have to live with the fact that i lost it to someone who never loved me, but you should save it until you are ready and you know you wont regret it. People these days think sex is just physical, because of the music industry and television and shit but its not - youre trusting someone with your body and sex is meant to be loving someone in the best way we know. seriously, its not weird, just be happy you still have yours and wait until you feel ready to trust someone so totally. dont let anyone pressure you, dont be impulsive, and when you decide the time is right, be safe. love. x

    Posted by [No first name supplied] on 02 October 2011  |  9 people found this useful

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  • I am a 23 year old guy and virgin by choice. My advice to unconfident girls/women is forget the flapping. If your partner loves you he won't care if you are a fat wotsit or a skinny rake.

    Posted by Stuart on 12 July 2009  |  9 people found this useful

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All Responses

  • Well I´m 21 and a virgin by choice, not that I haven´t had opportunities but because I haven´t felt truly loved by the other person that made me feel uncomfortable. I was a little over weight but never actually thought I could be sexy or beautiful and when good looking guys actually stated that they liked me and really thought i was sexy, I was shocked but it made me feel great so now i love my body and i look after it which got me to lose some weight and now i´m thinking i will lose it with my current boyfriend as i now feel confident with my body and feel that there is love.

    So I would say feel confident with yourself first and then when you have trust in the other person then go and have fun.

    YOU SHOULD ALWAYS COME FIRST!!!!

    Posted by Claire on 21 March 2012  |  0 people found this useful

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  • okay okay okay, here we go.
    i'm 18. virgin. bisexual. i've turned down sex three times just because i didnt want them to see my body. i have 32c boobs and i was so scared they wouldn't like them.
    recently, i've been with this guy who (lets not call it love because then i sound naive) i really like. so when i told him i was scared and he was shocked. he said he was scared of disappointing me and that he was nervous that he'd mess up my first time?? (he's not a virgin btw)
    so after all this waffle, i'm just trying to say that when people have sex, they are so caught up in the moment and nervous themselves that they dont care about the size of your boobs or your legs or stomach or whatever insecurities you have. the person you loose it to will already love your body even if you dont.

    Posted by millie on 09 October 2011  |  6 people found this useful

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  • oh sweetheart. Im 16, just like you, and i lost my virginity this summer with someone who ive had feelings for for a very long time but it wasnt love, he didnt love me, he just wanted sex. I promise you, if you wait for someone who loves you and cares about you it will be so much better for you - i have to live with the fact that i lost it to someone who never loved me, but you should save it until you are ready and you know you wont regret it. People these days think sex is just physical, because of the music industry and television and shit but its not - youre trusting someone with your body and sex is meant to be loving someone in the best way we know. seriously, its not weird, just be happy you still have yours and wait until you feel ready to trust someone so totally. dont let anyone pressure you, dont be impulsive, and when you decide the time is right, be safe. love. x

    Posted by [No first name supplied] on 02 October 2011  |  9 people found this useful

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  • I'm 16, and have only ever had two 'kind of' boyfriends. I had my first official boyfriend at 15, and prior to this had never been in an official relationship, only flings and flirtationships, haha. This was by choice - I was quite shy and insecure, and so didnt feel comfortable around most boys. However, I finally gave in to peer pressure and fears people would think something was wrong with me, so decided to say yes to this boy who had been asking me out for weeks. I felt bad about this, as I was mainly going out with him because of the pressure to have a boyfriend, and not because I liked him in that way. I really regret this now, as because I didnt fancy him, I couldnt bring myself to do anything sexual with him. After a month, he gave up trying and we decided to call it quits. I felt bad, because I knew he liked me and I techniqually used him. I should have waited until I was ready for a boyfriend, no matter what other people thought. A year later a month before my 16th, two boys joined my class on foreign exchange. Both were dreamily gorgeous, but one was really shy and the other was a complete jerk (or appeared to be). By then my confidence had grown, and I was able to flirt with them and to my surprise they flirted back. They were both from France, and were sometimes annoyingly vain and arrogant, but they were also very sweet and charming at the same time. I liked this about them, which was stupid! But I couldnt help it. Turned out they both liked me, and both asked me out on dates. I felt ready for a boyfriend, but didnt want to commit myself as they werent permanently in England. However, I decided a short open relationship wouldnt cause any harm, and it was either now or never as Id likely never see them again once they returned to France. When I found out one of my friends liked one of them, I decided to go for the other boy. We kissed. Alot! Not just a peck either, a proper kiss. My first, but I didnt let him know this. It came naturally and it was everything I expected and more. I was nervous, excited and completely star struck by him, it was magical! Sadly after he returned home I never did see him again, but I dont regret kissing him one bit and we're still in contact on facebook etc. Moral of the story? Wait until your ready. Don't give in to peer pressure, or force yourself in to doing anything out of fear of what others will think of you. You'll regret it, trust me! This is coming from someone who is living proof that this is true. I've just turned 16 now, and am still a virgin. And planning to stay that way until I feel ready, and find someone who I really love and trust. Sex is suppose to be magical and special. If you just accept your first offer it could be awkward and embarrasing, nothing like what it should be. Take my adive!

    Posted by Laura on 15 August 2011  |  6 people found this useful

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