! WARNING: The videos on this site feature people talking very frankly and occasionally explicitly about their personal experiences of sex

Question

I am planning to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time and I am scared I will bleed. I wear tampons and have been fingered but how do I know if my hymen has broken?

Jan on 29 September 2011 4 Comments

Popular Responses

  • Hi – I just wondered why you are worried or scared about the bleeding? Does your boyfriend know it’s your first time? If not, it would be a good idea to tell him and if you don’t feel comfortable or safe to, then reconsider having sex with him. If you’re embarrassed about it don’t be! Many girls will bleed the first time they have sex, and it’s never much blood at all – not like a period. Sometimes girls will bleed after their first time also if the hymen is still intact. If you’re not comfortable with it at all, maybe you’re just not ready yet – and if you do have fears and anxieties, sex will not be good – you’ll just be nervous and not be able to relax, which makes the vagina tense up, which means that it may painful. So have a really good think if you’re ready for sex or you should wait a bit longer : )

    Posted by Ava on 29 September 2011  |  5 people found this useful

    Flag as inappropriate
  • dont worry about bleeding just make sure you have done a lot of foreplay beforehand and you are ready to do it, if you feel pressured and dont want to do it it will hurt more. so just make sure you are ready and do it slowly and carefully. you wont know if your hymen is broken but it most likely has and seeing that you have been fingered before it shouldnt hurt much, it more nerves then actual pain.

    Posted by gee on 30 September 2011  |  1 person found this useful

    Flag as inappropriate

All Responses

  • If you wear tampons instead of pads or pantyliners and he can get more than one finger in then your hymen is probably already broken and you shouldn't bleed or at least not a lot. Just be careful ok and you don't have to have sex if you don't want to, you owe him nothing and you can get pregnant the first time even if he pulls out early. just make sure you use a condom of you do.

    Posted by lauren on 10 January 2012  |  0 people found this useful

    Flag as inappropriate
  • I havent had sex with my boyfriend for this exact reason. When he fingers me, he can only use one finger as i do have quite a tight vagina, however, i have heard if you have enough foreplay, and are in the right frame of mind, it wont hurt you, but that doesnt mean that im still not a little worried. This is a natural response. Just relax and enjoy it. :)

    Posted by [No first name supplied] on 12 November 2011  |  0 people found this useful

    Flag as inappropriate
  • dont worry about bleeding just make sure you have done a lot of foreplay beforehand and you are ready to do it, if you feel pressured and dont want to do it it will hurt more. so just make sure you are ready and do it slowly and carefully. you wont know if your hymen is broken but it most likely has and seeing that you have been fingered before it shouldnt hurt much, it more nerves then actual pain.

    Posted by gee on 30 September 2011  |  1 person found this useful

    Flag as inappropriate
  • Hi – I just wondered why you are worried or scared about the bleeding? Does your boyfriend know it’s your first time? If not, it would be a good idea to tell him and if you don’t feel comfortable or safe to, then reconsider having sex with him. If you’re embarrassed about it don’t be! Many girls will bleed the first time they have sex, and it’s never much blood at all – not like a period. Sometimes girls will bleed after their first time also if the hymen is still intact. If you’re not comfortable with it at all, maybe you’re just not ready yet – and if you do have fears and anxieties, sex will not be good – you’ll just be nervous and not be able to relax, which makes the vagina tense up, which means that it may painful. So have a really good think if you’re ready for sex or you should wait a bit longer : )

    Posted by Ava on 29 September 2011  |  5 people found this useful

    Flag as inappropriate

Share Your Experience

Do you have a similar or related experience? Share it below. Please respect that Sexperience is all about people’s actual experiences — not opinion, not theory.

Do you have a question about this? Please check out the questions section, where you may find other people have already asked and answered your question.

  1. (This will be published)
  2. I am…

  3. by posting on this website you are agreeing to abide by our Community Guidelines

How Sexperienced Are You?

Channel 4 © 2014. We have updated our terms and conditions and privacy policy. Please ensure you read both documents before using our Digital Products and Services.