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Did sex hurt the first time you did it?

Answered by Tara, 39 4 Responses

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  • (I tried to have sex with my boyfriend about two months ago. It was both our first times and after we had had some foreplay and he'd put on the condom he tried putting his penis inside me. It was really difficult as it didn't seem to fit and after 10 mins of trying we had to give up as it was too painful for me to continue. I bled after that. We then tried again about a week later and had the same problem. Am I normal? Will I ever be able to have normal sex that's not soo painful?”)

    ^ hi i had the same problem have you sorted it if so how?

    Posted by [No first name supplied] on 21 April 2011  |  9 people found this useful

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  • its not going to hurt every time, yes people are different and if it does hurt every time after say 7 go's id see a doctor just to be sure nothing is wrong. For me personally, if its been a particularly long and vigorous experience then i will ache the next day, and if not properly aroused and lubricated sex will be uncomfortable as there will be too much dry friction, like rubbing your arm for ages.
    To put virgins at ease not everyones first time will hurt. Like most girls i had heard all the horror stories. My best friend actually told me it felt like she was being stabbed! However my first time was actually very enjoyable, my boyfriend is older than me and more experienced so the fact that he new exactly what he was doing really helped (not saying all girls should run off and sleep with older men!) The only discomfort i felt was a slight tightness. We went very slowly and as we continued the tight sensation started to go and i could tell my partner that it was safe to go harder and faster. So its a lot about being with someone your comfortable with but its also about making sure nothing is rushed and the both of you are relaxed.

    Posted by megan on 09 February 2011  |  9 people found this useful

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  • For me, just on entry (very briefly) and I was so involve din the moment that it went away almost as soon as it arrived.

    Posted by Rebecca on 25 November 2012  |  3 people found this useful

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  • (I tried to have sex with my boyfriend about two months ago. It was both our first times and after we had had some foreplay and he'd put on the condom he tried putting his penis inside me. It was really difficult as it didn't seem to fit and after 10 mins of trying we had to give up as it was too painful for me to continue. I bled after that. We then tried again about a week later and had the same problem. Am I normal? Will I ever be able to have normal sex that's not soo painful?”)

    ^ hi i had the same problem have you sorted it if so how?

    Posted by [No first name supplied] on 21 April 2011  |  9 people found this useful

    Flag as inappropriate
  • its not going to hurt every time, yes people are different and if it does hurt every time after say 7 go's id see a doctor just to be sure nothing is wrong. For me personally, if its been a particularly long and vigorous experience then i will ache the next day, and if not properly aroused and lubricated sex will be uncomfortable as there will be too much dry friction, like rubbing your arm for ages.
    To put virgins at ease not everyones first time will hurt. Like most girls i had heard all the horror stories. My best friend actually told me it felt like she was being stabbed! However my first time was actually very enjoyable, my boyfriend is older than me and more experienced so the fact that he new exactly what he was doing really helped (not saying all girls should run off and sleep with older men!) The only discomfort i felt was a slight tightness. We went very slowly and as we continued the tight sensation started to go and i could tell my partner that it was safe to go harder and faster. So its a lot about being with someone your comfortable with but its also about making sure nothing is rushed and the both of you are relaxed.

    Posted by megan on 09 February 2011  |  9 people found this useful

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  • I think it all depends on the size of you and the size of your partner. I lost my virginity recently and, while we had done some foreplay before hand, I don't have a very high sex drive at all, so when we actually did it I was turned on so to speak, but I was relaxed because I didn't give myself time to think about it and tense up. We were going to sleep when he asked if we could have sex so I said ok; so it was painful but like I said I wasn't really turned on. My partner is about average penis size I would say and when we first started because I was still lubricated from our previous foreplay it did go in quite quickly and I think this contributed to the pain. My advice would be to definitely make sure you have done foreplay; make sure you are relaxed and as comfortable as you can be if you are nervous; also if you think your partner might be quite thick in girth then try getting him to insert more fingers into you to stretch you first. I know that doesn't sound very glamourous but imo it's much better going slowly and steadily than pushing in all at once.
    The only other thing I would add is I get some discomfort in certain positions and I think that is when the tip of his penis hits my cervix, so for us communication is really important because I tell him straight away and we swap positions. Again I think my lack of sex drive has something to do with the fact that I have yet to really 'enjoy' sex; I will get turned on during foreplay for example but as soon as we stop to have sex it kind of leaves me but I will still be wet so in that sense it's quite easy to have sex just a bit uncomfortable sometimes.
    Basical ly you need time to adjust to your partner's size, and that doesn't mean he has to be really big he could just be average especially if you are inexperienced. But maybe if i was turned on I would enjoy the slight discomfort in a pleasure/pain kind of way, everyone is different.

    Posted by Lizzy on 23 January 2011  |  5 people found this useful

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